This and That

You're getting a whole lotta random right now, partly because I'm pretty sure that I severely damaged my wrist while scraping glue for the Lagoon, partly because today I've consumed about 400% of the sodium that a normal human should in a day, but mostly because I spent 10 hours in a car today (and I even drove for four of those hours, which is unprecedented!). 

So here's what I've got for you on this lovely, sweltering Monday morning.

1. We're currently in Manassas, visiting family (and maybe IKEA, even though there's not actually anything that I need there, so maybe that's a bad idea) before we take the next leg of our trip.  But if you're in Savannah, don't get all excited, thinking that you're going to rob us while we're away.  Our friend Cris is housesitting/dogsitting, which means that Mitch will be spending his week with his best friend Reilly. (Don't rob Cris, either.)

2. While Mitch is cuddling with Reilly on the couch, I'll be hanging out with this guy.  Have I already mentioned that (like, two million times)?

[source]
3. Also, we also have plans to go to Citi Field to watch a Mets game.  David Letterman will probably go with us.  Actually, I think he may be a Yankees fan.

[source]
4. Speaking of baseball, you may need to listen to this story by Michaela Murphy.  It was a recent story featured on The Moth Podcast, and it's pretty great.  Maybe I cried a little?

5. Matt's mom just gave him some really badass cast iron skillets for his upcoming birthday.  This means two things.  1.) Matt is going to be even more excited to cook dinner, which is good for me.  And 2.) I now have a great weapon should a murderer try to come into our house.
6. What the hell is going on with this heat?  Today while we were driving up here, the car's thermometer was saying that the temperature outside was between 110-118.  And that was while we were driving.  I mean, I know those skew a little high, but seriously.  My flip flops felt like they were melting into the pavement.
7. Right now I'm watching Cupcake Wars, and I think it's a bunch of crap that my Matt F. of Frostings didn't get on.  It's a sham!  Matty F., you'd be kickin' ass and takin' names!
8. I hope I don't see Olivia from The City during our trip.  If I did see her, I may have to go up to her and say, "Olivia, it's a bunch of crap that you're the new face of Elle.com!"  I'm sure that would mean a lot to her.  Ugh, I can't stand her!
9. Did I mention that we're going to see Letterman?
10. Did I mention that he's been on my list (see: Friends) for over a decade?

Our last trip was our relaxation trip.  This one is our adventure trip, and I'm so excited.  Who knows how often I'll be posting, what with all of the adventures and excitement, but I'll give it the ol' college try.

Happy Monday!

I'm a Sweater.

It's been a weird week for me and the rest of us here at M Cubed, and I apologize for being such a blog-writing slacker.  I've been waiting tables for vacation money (and Target money), and other than that I've done nothing that's been particularly interesting.  But here's what I've got to share with you on this Friday.

1. Is Audrina on The Hills dating the same Ryan that Ashlee Simpson was dating?  Wow, I'd forgotten about how much I hated Ashlee Simpson.  And, boy, Ryan got fat.  It's okay, Ryan, I know how it is.
2. Speaking of MTV reality TV, how is Olivia (from The City) so evil?  Methinks she's in a contest with Spencer Pratt for most loathed character on television.
3. I still hate Top Chef's Angelo.
4. Trying to lure the wasps on the carport into a syrupy death.  It's not working so well.  As soon as I get the chance, it'll be science experiment time.  Get excited now. 
5. I don't vacuum or mop when it's raining, or when it's just rained, or if it looks like it's going to rain.  But here in Savannah it rains almost daily during the summer, and I'm thinking that I'll have to change my vacuuming/rain rules.  I won't walk across our floors right now unless I'm wearing shoes, which I think is a sign that it's time for a little cleaning.
6. I ate four (or was it six?) flour tortillas (the small ones) for dinner.  I only eat them in twos.  I also separate my Skittles by color and try to keep them grouped in even numbers, eating them in a rainbow order (red, then orange, then yellow, then green, etc). 
7. On Sunday night our electricity went out for ten hours, from eight o'clock until six something in the morning.  That was annoying enough.  Even more annoying, though, was the fact that our neighbors directly across the street still had power.  Stuff like that makes me wish that I was more friendly with the neighbors, or at least that I was more skilled at stealing electricity from others.
8. I have yet to remove that hideaous mint color from my toenails. 
9. Matt bought me She & Him Volume II for our anniversary.  He also bought me 500 Days of Summer.  Matt says that the third anniversary is the Zooey Deschanel anniversary. 
10. I've actually somewhat enjoyed waiting tables this week.  It's nice to be active, and to make money instead of spend it.  The biggest downside has been the embarrassment I've suffered because I have a sweaty, sweaty face.  Like, I sweat more than anyone I know, but it all comes out through my face.  It literally drips down my face.  F'ing disgusting.  This is probably some horrible disease.  I'm a sweater.  It's the sweater disease.

So, there you have it.  I'm sure that, having read this list of ten very uninteresting things, you're happy that I slowed down posting this week.

Happiness Is. . .

What a week it's been! My last seven days have been complete mayhem, mostly because of the 90 ninth graders who are itching to get out of school. Last night I was up until 3:00 a.m. baking cookies and cakes for those ninth graders, my last-ditch effort to end their year in a positive way. I'm going to be a very happy girl tomorrow afternoon, as I bid those little darlings farewell.  But I'll be an even happier one after Thursday's graduation. There's nothing better in the world than summer vacation, and it's so close that I can taste it.

Now, I actually have something even more important to share with you, something that may end up being the one thing my life was actually missing. The time is finally here. I always knew that this would make me happy, but until I experienced it for myself I had no idea the depths of joy it would allow me to tap into.

So without further ado.




Because I want to tell you before I tell even my closest friends or family members.



And because I think this event is going to be life-changing.




Here it goes.




Chick-Fil-A has a new Spicy Chicken Sandwich!  

[source]

And it's really f'ing good. 

I've got a sink full of baking dishes, a dog outside barking at God knows what, thirsty plants, and gritty floors.  And I just realized that my week has been so crazy that I forgot to watch The Hills and The City!  Looks like I've got a busy night in store.  It's a good thing I just ate my Spicy Chicken Sandwich, a.k.a., "Productivity Fuel."  I think that's the campaign that Chick-Fil-A should use to promote the sandwich.  Either that, or, "The chicken sandwich that Jesus would eat."

Marital Bliss

Matt: Wait, did you see last week's episodes of The Hills and The City?

Me: Ummmmmm, hmmmmm, I think so.

Matt: [reading the info] Justin Bobby follows Kristin to Las Vegas!

Me: Oh, no! I haven't seen that one yet!

Matt: Well, you have it, because I recorded it for you.

Me: Oh, thank you! I have the best husband.

Matt: Yes you do. Now go make me some f'*&^ing pasta.

(He was joking. If he wasn't, I'll poison his pasta.)

Comcast = Big Brother

It's a case of life imitating art.

Yesterday, mostly in jest, I wrote a post damning Comcast for not having the most recent episode of The City available on On Demand. I was 85% joking, but had been genuinely annoyed on Thursday night when I couldn't find out what happened with Whitney and the boy with the crazy white teeth. I do recognize how spoiled I have become, however, with all of this technology that I take for granted. And I know that there are many people in the world who don't even have On Demand, and that I should count my blessings.

My post went up at 10:57 a.m., and at 1:35 p.m. I had a comment from none other than my mortal foe, Comcast. To save you all of the trouble of scrolling and clicking, here it is.

Hi Mandy,

I will check with my local contacts regarding this. If a show is not available on On demand, it is by choice of its network, not Comcast. The shows are supplied by the network. If the new shows are not supplied by the network, it will not be available on On demand.

What area are you from and what is the latest episode on your On demand?

Regards,

Mark Casem
Comcast Customer Connect
National Customer Operations
We_Can_Help@cable.comcast.com

I feel like I've committed thoughtcrime. Is Comcast going to lock me in a room with an army of jumpy frogs until I admit that Comcast is the best cable provider on the planet?

I can't decide if Comcast's blog stalking and commenting is good customer service, or if it's just creepy. What do you think?

(Oh, and let me give a shout out to Mark Casem, just in case he's reading this one. Mark, my husband says that you have nothing to worry about, that we're never cancelling our service because he relies too heavily on the services you provide. Also, he doesn't want to anger the Comcast gods. Please don't hurt us by taking away our cable, DVR, and internet.)

Comcast--FAIL!

Dear Comcast:

I know that we have a long history together. Remember the good ol' days, those filled with Family Ties and Joe Millionaire and high speed internet? Remember all of the hours that we have spent together, and all of the dollars that I have sent your way?

I am growing close to ending our friendship. It's a give and take, you see. I give you what could amount to a car payment each month, and you give me fast internet service, DVR, more channels than I could ever watch, and On Demand. Or so I thought.

Comcast, your On Demand is a suckfest. Why, when I go to watch this week's episodes of The Hills and The City, do you only have the most recent episode of The Hills? Listen, if it's one or the other, I choose The City. The Hills jumped the shark long ago. Sure, I still watch it, but it's become less and less enjoyable and more staged than ever. But The City is hip and fresh, and stars Kelly Cutrone! And I love to hate Olivia even more than I loved to hate Spencer Pratt.

This is not the first time you've denied me an episode of the best non-reality, reality soap opera on television today. No, because last season I never got to see the finale because of your On Demand ineptitude. I want The City and I want it NOW.

Fix it! If you don't, consider our long-standing friendship effectively ENDED.

Yours truly,

Mandy

A Spinoff of a Spinoff of a Spinoff

Oh, the complexities of MTV reality television. Entertainment Weekly made my Friday, revealing that Kelly Cutrone will be receiving her own show on Bravo. Her show will seemingly be a spinoff of The City, which is a spinoff of The Hills, which is a spinoff of Laguna Beach. I've spent an embarrassing amount of my life watching and rewatching these shows.

[Source]

And I love Kelly. She's a bitch, she's outspoken, and she's super smart. Remember that time she made Lauren fire Stephanie? Or the time she told Allie that she was too skinny and should seek help?

Will you be tuning in to watch Kelly's new show?

Entertainment Week in Review

My musings on this week's entertainment:

• Yay for the return of 30 Rock. It never disappoints. Tracy Jordan, you are a delight.
• Are there two more loathsome people than The City's Olivia and Roxy?
• Oh, yes, there are. They are Lance and Keri from Amazing Race. Fortunately for all of us, they were the last team to arrive, and they have been eliminated from the race. But who will be there to supply us with 'roid rage and arm bandanas?
• Maybe idiot Michael from Top Chef. (Not younger brother Michael--idiot "I-am-so-much-better-than-everyone-else-here" Michael. I think he may be Lance's brother.) This week we get to watch restaurant wars, and the Matt and I can't wait.
• We went to see Where the Wild Things Are today. I would tell you all about it, but I fell asleep for about 30-45 minutes in the middle of the movie, so I don't really know what happened. I do know that it made me cry four different times, it stars the cutest kid on the planet, it has a great soundtrack, and it is visually stunning. Maybe I'll be able to convince Matt to write a review of it, and he can share all of his smart boy insights.

What have you been watching, reading, or listening to?

What I'm Watching

I really love the beginning of autumn. I love the crisp days and the hearty meals, the thought of wearing sweaters and hats and scarves. But one of the best things about this time of year? A NEW SEASON OF TV!

Here are some quick reviews of five shows that will get me through the school year:

1. The Office. I wasn't thrilled with the whole pregnancy thing, but I have faith that the writers will pull it off with plenty of awkward, I'm-embarrassed-for-them moments. And I'm particularly excited for the upcoming wedding episode. I love me a good tv wedding episode. Don't let me down, Office writers.

PS--The original version of The Office is quite the treat. Ricky Gervais, oh dear God. I'm uncomfortable just thinking about his interpretation of the boss, David Brent. It's like the American Office, only on crack.

2. The Hills. Out with the old and in with the new. Lauren's gone, Kristin has arrived, and all hell is about to break loose. (She's trying to snag Justin Bobby!) My 30-minute elliptical workout flies by when I'm watching--and by watching I mean feeling superior and passing judgment. I think I hate every single person on this show.

3. The City. This show is the tv equivalent of a Little Debbie snack or a Savory Toaster Strudel--so horrible, but absolutely delightful. It actually makes The Hills seem credible. Whitney's vapid New York friends and coworkers (particularly Olivia and Roxy) make Spencer and Heidi look like Gandhi and Bill Gates. Even though I'm a girl whose idea of fashion is a ratty tshirt, jeans, and flip-flops, the artificial glimpse into the fashion world fascinates me. But so do train wrecks.

4. TOP CHEF! What great fun. After a healthy dose of reality tv garbage, it's nice to watch a show where the contestants actually have talent. And this season may be the best yet. It's Vegas, Baby, and the stakes are higher.

Matt and I actually play a game when we watch quality reality television. During the season premiere we pick contestants to root for. Matt has bearded Kevin, weird Ashley who looks like a boy, and Mike, the younger Voltaggio brother. Team Mandy is Jenn the super bitch who is awesome and just might win, Bryan the older Voltaggio brother, and kerchief-wearing Mattin, who has already been eliminated. Dammit! He had a kerchief! I thought for sure he'd be in the final three!

5. The Amazing Race. This show is actually the best reality show on tv, and we pick teams for this one, too. I have done pretty well with picking teams in life; I've thrice picked the winners. THRICE! Matt has the Harlem Globetrotters (and I'm so jealous) and the good-looking blonde soccer-playing couple. I have Justin and Zev (Matt's so jealous) and the older couple who met on the internet. I always pick the older couples.

What are you watching this time of year? Any suggestions?