The Shelf of Marital Compromise

I think I've mentioned before that that wonderful husband of mine is smart and well-informed and knows so much about everything. 

Do you know why that is?  (Well, in addition to the giant brain factor.)

It's because he is, at all times, entertaining himself.  It's a rare moment that Matt's not entertaining himself in some fashion.  He's either watching TV, or reading a book, or talking to an actual human person, or listening to a podcast.

The podcasts are the real troublemakers.  And it's not that I hate that he listens to podcasts.  The best part about them is that Matt gets so much housework done while he's listening to them.  And I love coming home to clean floors and empty dishwashers and freshly-mowed yards.  I also love it when Matt fills the Zune up with lots of awesome podcasts that we can listen to together when we're on car trips (or that he can listen to by himself while I sleep when we're on car trips).

But I hate when I go to say something to him and he doesn't hear me because his ears are full of Ira Glass or Dan Savage. 

And I hated that Matt had decided that he also needed to be listening to podcasts whilst showering--which meant that he would drag the Zune speakers into our tiny little bathroom and set them on the counter.  You know, because what's a shower if you can't listen to a little bit of Kevin Smith?

I hated the speakers on the counter. 

It was becoming an issue.

It was becoming one of those little things that would make me angry--like when I'd be washing my face and splashing water on them, or when the towel that he put the speakers on (for protection) would get wet from the sink, or when I'd knock the speakers onto the ground in the middle of the night when all I wanted was to pee without waking up.

So I'd put the speakers back on the shelf in the living room, and he'd move them back to the bathroom.  And then I'd put the speakers back in the living room, only to find them back in the bathroom hours later. 

Since Matt loved the speakers so, I wanted to love them in there, too.  But I didn't.

Enter the shelf of marital compromise. (I'll sand and paint those spots over Christmas break, or maybe spring break or the summer.)

Now Matt can listen to his podcasts, and I can even jam out to some "Ms. Jackson" while in the shower. (Did you know that the lyrics actually say "Never meant to make your daughter cry" and not "Never meant to make your doggie cry"?) 

Oh, and it's not the shelf that's crooked.  It's the light switch, and I take full responsibility for that.

This is the new spot for the speakers, which is actually better because it's in the middle of the house, and because Matt can hear his podcasts even better because the speakers are higher.  And I can splash the counters all I want when I wash my face.

Now there's no more huffing while I carry them back to the living room, and I can, instead, channel my energy into cleaning that dirty tile!

500th Post!

1. Yeah, that's a lot of posts.  As Matt put it, "I don't think I've ever done anything 500 times."  But, what started as a way for me to put pictures on the internet without cluttering other peoples' Facebook feeds has become a fun hobby, and something that's reconnected me with many people from way back when.  So that's good.  Thanks for reading, ya'll.  (Or, "you guys," which I apparently say too much, in a very white girl kind of way.  I get mocked for it at school, but it's all good, you guys.)
2. Me:  I think I want a glass of wine.  And I think I want you to get it for me.  Matt:  You do, huh?  Me: Yes.  Acts of service is my love language.  Matt:  Well, watching people talk about football on tv is my love language.
3. True Blood is fun this season, albeit a little crazy.  On last week's episode, when Bill put the IV in his arm and gave his blood to Sookie, I thought to myself, "Yeah, right.  Like it would happen that easily."  Of course, because the transfer of blood through the IV is what's unbelievable about the show.  And I'm about ready for Sookie to bite it.  Like, die--not chew.
4. I'm a pretty good speller.  So good, in fact, that I went to the county spelling bee twice when I was in middle school.  I do, though, get tripped up and second-guess myself when spelling certain words.  In one of the previous posts I wrote the word unforgivable and I couldn't remember (or didn't know) if I needed to but an e after the v.  So I turned to my trusty online dictionary, Merriam-Webster Online, to check myself.  And, get this, Webster is now trying to sell the dictionary.  They wouldn't tell me the definition unless I paid for the service.  Really, Webster?  Couldn't get by on the ad revenue?  Now I have to buy the new unabridged dictionary?  I'll just work on my spelling, thankyouverymuch.  (Or use one of the other myriad online dictionaries that are available for free.)
5. I wonder if thankyouverymuch is available in the unabridged version of the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary?
6. When I was in Baptist school in the fourth grade, we had to read a biographical story about Noah Webster, and basically about how God wrote the dictionary for him.  Webster was all "Jesus this and Jesus that, and 'Have you found Jesus yet?'"  I didn't know I was supposed to be lookin' for him. 
7. For the last month and a half or so, I have been trudging through some horrible family drama.  I'm trying to decide how much of that stuff I want to share on the internet.  Part of me wants to put it all out there, but another part of me thinks that it wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.  Maybe I'll just share it for the book I'll write someday, like Running with Scissors but way more fucked up. 
8. I'm not sure if I was supposed to hate him or not, but I LOVED Mark Ruffalo's character in The Kids Are All Right.  Also, I loved that movie with my whole heart and soul.  Matt and I talked about it in-depth for a very long time, and it took me back to the days early in our relationship, when we were in the same film class.  Only, this time there was nobody claiming that everything had just been a dream or that the characters were just conforming to societal norms.  (Oh, societal norms girl, how I loathed you. . .)
9. We ate Five Guys at 3:00 and I'm not even close to being hungry again.  I guess it wasn't so bad to eat there after all.
10. I am determined to drink a grapefruit margarita before the end of summer. 
11. Watched 12th & Delaware on HBO last night.  Wow.  Kind of makes me want to donate our entire savings account to Planned Parenthood.
Trailer
12. Friday Night Lights season finale was good, I thought.  Matt made a good point, noting that it was the first season finale that didn't have to be a potential series finale.  I don't want to spoil anything for those of you who haven't seen it, but I thought there was a good balance between cliffhanger and conclusion.
13. I get ten free song credits with the Zune pass every month, but I am terrible at exploring new music.  What's your favorite song (either right now or in life)? 

This and That

You're getting a whole lotta random right now, partly because I'm pretty sure that I severely damaged my wrist while scraping glue for the Lagoon, partly because today I've consumed about 400% of the sodium that a normal human should in a day, but mostly because I spent 10 hours in a car today (and I even drove for four of those hours, which is unprecedented!). 

So here's what I've got for you on this lovely, sweltering Monday morning.

1. We're currently in Manassas, visiting family (and maybe IKEA, even though there's not actually anything that I need there, so maybe that's a bad idea) before we take the next leg of our trip.  But if you're in Savannah, don't get all excited, thinking that you're going to rob us while we're away.  Our friend Cris is housesitting/dogsitting, which means that Mitch will be spending his week with his best friend Reilly. (Don't rob Cris, either.)

2. While Mitch is cuddling with Reilly on the couch, I'll be hanging out with this guy.  Have I already mentioned that (like, two million times)?

[source]
3. Also, we also have plans to go to Citi Field to watch a Mets game.  David Letterman will probably go with us.  Actually, I think he may be a Yankees fan.

[source]
4. Speaking of baseball, you may need to listen to this story by Michaela Murphy.  It was a recent story featured on The Moth Podcast, and it's pretty great.  Maybe I cried a little?

5. Matt's mom just gave him some really badass cast iron skillets for his upcoming birthday.  This means two things.  1.) Matt is going to be even more excited to cook dinner, which is good for me.  And 2.) I now have a great weapon should a murderer try to come into our house.
6. What the hell is going on with this heat?  Today while we were driving up here, the car's thermometer was saying that the temperature outside was between 110-118.  And that was while we were driving.  I mean, I know those skew a little high, but seriously.  My flip flops felt like they were melting into the pavement.
7. Right now I'm watching Cupcake Wars, and I think it's a bunch of crap that my Matt F. of Frostings didn't get on.  It's a sham!  Matty F., you'd be kickin' ass and takin' names!
8. I hope I don't see Olivia from The City during our trip.  If I did see her, I may have to go up to her and say, "Olivia, it's a bunch of crap that you're the new face of Elle.com!"  I'm sure that would mean a lot to her.  Ugh, I can't stand her!
9. Did I mention that we're going to see Letterman?
10. Did I mention that he's been on my list (see: Friends) for over a decade?

Our last trip was our relaxation trip.  This one is our adventure trip, and I'm so excited.  Who knows how often I'll be posting, what with all of the adventures and excitement, but I'll give it the ol' college try.

Happy Monday!

Towel Howl.

Vacation is incredible, isn't it?  We arrived at the lake house around two a.m., nervous that the key wouldn't still be in its hiding place and that we would be spending the night sleeping in the great outdoors.  Fortunately, the key was there and we instead slept in a plush bed.  (Matt's mom is the master of the comfortable bed.)

Already I'm feeling more relaxed, less stressed.  So is Mitch.

This morning, while Matt slept in (I slept approximately four and a half hours of the six hour drive), I walked Mitchell down to the dock to relax.  I began to re-read Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (secretly wishing that I'd grown up in the Sedaris household) while Mitch sat in the sun, dog-smiling away.  After about thirty minutes, Mitch got up, went to the steps, and took a little dip in the water.  Completely unprompted, completely natural (he is a wild swamp dog, after all).  I guess he just needed to cool off. 

Now he's confused because I won't let him on the couch, and he seems less than thrilled about his new wardrobe.

If this pisses him off, just wait until he find out that Fletcher will be here in a few minutes.

Bam Bam Wins Again

I've mentioned before Matt's obsession with podcasts, and how he has to be entertained during every waking moment. How he takes the Zune on its speaker dock into the bathroom with him while he showers.

Well, a few days ago, the speakers stopped working. I maintain that the speakers died because of all of the moisture during shower/podcast time.

Matt maintains that the speakers died because of all of the times that I tripped over the cord (WHEN THEY WERE IN THE BATHROOM!) and flung them onto the tile floor.

Knowing that no good would come from blaming Matt's need to be constantly entertained, I directed my anger at Altec Lansing, the makers of said Zune speaker dock. And I decided that, since the speakers were already broken, some Mandy fix-it-ness was in order. Couldn't hurt, right? (In some ways, this experience is analogous to one of the storylines of the Lost premiere.)

My first great idea was to just throw the dock onto the ground several times to see if I could knock things back in place. It didn't work, but it wasn't a complete bust, either. I saw a flash of light, and became more hopeful. But then after a few more tosses to the floor, nothing.

So I went to my toolbox, and retrieved my trusty hammer.

And, frustrated that I had spent $100 on piece of shit speakers, I began to hammer away. And would you believe it? When I plugged them in, THEY WORKED!

Maybe I need my own reality tv show where I fix things with hammers and eat cupcakes? Oh, and take naps. Naps would have to be included. Sounds like a hit to me.

Marital Bliss

Me: I mean, I was just having an entire conversation with you and you didn't hear me. You and your damned podcasts!

Matt: Sorry. Maybe if you need to tell me something you could just record it as an audio file and put it on the Zune. Then I'll hear everything you say.

More on Avatar

The more I think about Avatar, the more I hate it. And the Filmspotting boys agree. Thank you, Adam and Matty!

Avatar: pretty but dumb--super dumb--like many people I've met.

Victory!

You're going to have to forgive me while I gloat.

First, you should know that we own a Zune. Two years ago, I got a bug up my ass that I needed a good mp3 player, and on the day after Christmas I headed to Target, armed with gift cards, ready to buy a nano. But, because it was the day after Christmas, Target was completely sold out of ipods. But they weren't sold out of Zunes. I had been intrigued by the Zune when doing my research, especially because of its FM radio feature (I'm an NPR addict), so I decided that it was a sign. Also, I'm impatient, and my haste sometimes leads me to bad decisions.

But the Zune has treated us pretty well. I especially love the Zune pass (unlimited free "leased" downloads for $15/month, plus 10 song credits that I own forever each month), because it has allowed me to explore different types of music and to set up a playlist for each of my classes at school. My point is, there are some good things about the Zune.

But there are some shitty things, too. The worst thing about the Zune is the software. It fucks up all the time, and can drive a person to insanity. I didn't really think much of those Mac v. PC commercials until I experienced the 1,000,000 glitches with the Zune software.

So it was no real surprise when, about a week ago, Matt downloaded the latest Norton software, and, GASP!, the Zune would no longer sync when we plugged it in. Matt was so frustrated. (He is an entertainment addict, and if he's not talking to me or watching tv or reading a book or browsing the interwebs, he's listening to one of his 1500 podcasts. He even listens to them in the bathroom. I call them poopcasts.) Without his entertainment, he wandered about the house like a lost puppy. How would he find entertainment to help him through household chores? Who would entertain him when he played online poker? Oh dear!

So Matt worked for several days to fix the problem, but was unsuccessful.

And then, while he was busy talking to his buddy Drew on the phone and watching the Senate get 60 votes for cloture (horray!), I worked diligently on our little Zune problem (for about 40 minutes).

And would you look at that?

See how it says "syncing"?

(Oh, and if you're thinking it already, I'll confirm it. I have the worst taste in music ever.)

See how that little Zune icon is red? (Red = syncing.)

You know what that means, don't you?

It means that I am a badass.

I spent the next 20 minutes or so prancing about the house, raising my arms and trying to emulate Tammy Taylor's dance from the intro to Friday Night Lights. Matt is happy to have his podcasts back, but angry that it was me who gets to claim the victory over Microsoft.

I'll be gloating about this for approximately 180 days. That's an appropriate amount of time, right?

Trips and Inspirations

We're headed off to New Jersey to attend a wedding and to reunite with old high school and college buddies. We'll stop and see some family along the way, and there will be much interesting conversation during the 26 hours we'll be spending in the car this weekend. I don't have much to say right now (saving it all up for the big road trip), but I'm sure there'll be much to say upon our return.

In the meantime, I leave you with this beautiful picture from one of Iris's favorite books, Twenty-six Princesses. I just knew there'd be a book about me someday!

Hey? What's with that evil frog? Methinks that it poisoned Princess Mandy!