My New Favorite Chocolate Cake

So, I haven't really been baking much lately because my doctor says that I'm a fat cow.  Well, he doesn't say that so much as he says that pregnant women shouldn't eat sugar and blah blah while he wags his finger in my face and rattles off a list of all of the things I can't eat, a list that could also be titled "Mandy's Favorite Foods."  Shoot.  And then he calls me a cow.*

But I really miss baking, so when I needed a gigantic favor from a coworker last week, I didn't hesitate to try to bribe her with baked goods.  And it worked!  I was figuring that I'd whip up my favorite vanilla cake of all time, but my plan was derailed when she said, after granting my request, "I like chocolate."  And here's the thing: I don't really understand chocolate.  (I know, I know, I'm a dirty blasphemer.  Sorry.)  I have the recipe for the Back in the Day Bakery chocolate cake, but it is a really expensive cake to make (like $15+ just in ingredients), and in addition to being a dirty blasphemer, I'm also cheap.  Then I remembered that I'd seen Smitten Kitchen's recipe for Chocolate Butter Cake recently, and figured I'd give that one a whirl.  I had almost all of the ingredients on-hand already, the process seemed pretty simple, and the recipe had received rave reviews.

So I made the cake and it was the bee's knees.  It did take about 15 minutes longer than Deb had said it would to bake, which could have been either because I was using 8" round pans instead of 8" square pans, or just differences in our ovens.  Other than that, though, the cake was super easy to make.  Of course, it did use coffee, which I had to google how to make because I do not know how to make coffee.  (Some of you are probably unfriending me right now.  No coffee and no chocolate?  WTF?  Here's another: I don't eat seafood.)

Then I faced the task of finding a chocolate icing, another thing I really don't understand.  I went with this Chocolate Buttercream recipe, which was also pretty simple to make and used cocoa powder instead of chocolate that I would have to melt.  I wasn't crazy about the icing when I tasted it by itself, but when it was paired with the cake, it was divine--creamy and sweet, and a tiny bit salty.  The icing really had the best texture. Oh, and the recipe made enough icing to frost the entire huge cake, which was awesomepants.

And the finished product smelled amazing.  Last night after Matt and I ate [a pretty healthy] dinner, we were both sitting around wanting dessert.  So we did some quality assurance testing and cut right into the cake that I was supposed to take to my coworker.  Oops!  How else would I know it wasn't poisonous, though?  You're not supposed to poison coworkers after they help you out.  We were protecting her.  Yeah, that's it.

So, if you're in need of a chocolate cake recipe, I'd recommend this one.  Do you have a favorite chocolate cake recipe?

Smitten Kitchen's Chocolate Butter Cake
Savory Sweet Life's Chocolate Buttercream Frosting


*He never called me a cow.  

Weekend Fun

Friday was the last day of school for students, which meant that I basically spent the whole weekend in a state of bliss--exhausted, but happy.  So there was some celebrating, and there was a lot of gluttony, and there were early nights when it would've been okay to stay up late, and late nights when I should've been to bed early (like right now).  When I remember that school's out, and then couple that with the fact that I quit my second job a couple of months ago, I can hardly contain my excitement.  For serious.

This weekend there was gin drinkin' and baby holdin' and pool swimmin' and sun bathin'.  There was ice creamin' (WTF, David Lebovitz's Peanut Butter Ice Cream!?), and cookie bakin' and phone talkin' and movie watchin', shoppin' and margaritin'*.  

I've got a few more days of work before summer officially begins, but it's so close I can taste it.  And it tastes like ice cream.  Shoot yeah for summer!

And here's what all that fun looked like.

*That's totally a thing.

June is basically a giant beast of a baby.

 Team Opal!

Mmmmmm. . .Basil's cheesy bread!

Good way to use up extra chocolate. 

 Oh, not again!

Summer reading list comparisons.

Matt twisted his ankle, so I tied an ice pack to him, making him look like one of the ballerinas on Center Stage. 

Mitch, protector snuggler extraordinaire.  A few of those healing dog kisses 

on Matt's ankle, and Matty will be better in no time!

Well, I should probably go put out some jeans and flips flops to wear to work tomorrow.  Oh yeah, because that'll be my uniform for the next two months.  Shoot yeah!

Chocolate Ice Cream!

Did you know that I'm not really into chocolate?  I like it and all, but I'm not one of those people who goes ga ga for chocolate, or who craves chocolate regularly.  Usually I prefer to eat chocolate in conjunction with other stuff (looking at you, peanut butter), and I like the chocolate to take a back seat to the other flavors.

I'm also afraid of making chocolate stuff, because I'm not terribly good at it.  I've had Back in the Day Bakery Cheryl's chocolate cake recipe for a few months now, and am still too afraid of it to make it.  (Also afraid that in the event that I successfully make it, I would eat the whole thing, despite my ambivalence about chocolate.  I need to have a time to share it with others.)  I don't know what's so scary about chocolate.  Mainly I'm just a big sissy.

I absolutely must overcome this fear*, because what kind of baker/ice creamer/fat girl can I be without knowing how to make awesome chocolate stuff?

This week I got one step closer, because I made David Lebovitz's Chocolate Ice Cream.  Plain ol' chocolate.  Also, David Lebovitz is a god.  The god of ice cream.

Now, Matt's mom, who is a chocoholic, doesn't like chocolate ice cream, because apparently true chocolate lovers prefer vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. But I think this one could convert her--that's how good it is.

The flavor is intense without being overpowering, and the texture is silky smooth.  It's sweet without being too sweet.  This is the chocolate ice cream recipe that I will use for the rest of my life, because I just can't believe that it can get better.  (And I know that I have a penchant for hyperbole, but seriously, I'm telling the truth.)

Get this book. 

And make this ice cream.

And look at a picture of this dog.

And you'll be happy.  (At least until the ice cream's gone and the dog starts whining for treats.)

David Lebovitz's Chocolate Ice Cream

2 cups heavy cream

3 tablespoons unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
5 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped
1 cup whole milk
¾ cup granulated sugar
Pinch of salt
5 large egg yolks
½ teaspoon vanilla extract

Warm 1 cup of the cream with the cocoa powder in a medium saucepan, whisking to thoroughly blend the cocoa. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer at a very low boil for 30 seconds, whisking constantly. Remove from the heat and add the chopped chocolate, stirring until smooth. Then stir in the remaining 1 cup cream. Pour the mixture into a large bowl, scraping the saucepan as thoroughly as possible, and set a mesh strainer on top of the bowl.

Warm the milk, sugar, and salt in the same saucepan. In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the egg yolk. Slowly pour the warm milk into the egg yolks, whisking constantly, then scrape the warmed egg yolks back into the saucepan.

Stir the mixture constantly over the medium heat with a heatproof spatula, scraping the bottom as you stir, until the mixture thickens and coats the spatula (170°F on an instant-read thermometer). Pour the custard through the strainer and stir it into the chocolate mixture until smooth, then stir in the vanilla. Stir until cool over an ice bath.


Chill the mixture thoroughly in the refrigerator, then freeze it in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. (If the cold mixture is too thick to pour into your machine, whisk it vigorously to thin it out.)


*Shoot.  That would've been a good New Year's resolution, huh?  Instead I'm left with learning to like tomatoes and to eat at least one egg with a runny yolk.  Also afraid of that, but we'll have to discuss it at a later date.

Following Directions

What is wrong with this picture?

If you said, "there's dessert left on the plate" you're correct.

Tonight Cassie came over for dinner, and since her birthday was last week and we couldn't be with her since she moved to a land far far away, I thought we'd do a small birthday celebration tonight. So I decided to try out a recipe I've been eyeballing, Pioneer Woman's Molten Chocolate Cake. Mmmmmm, chocolate and molten and Cool Whip? How could it go wrong?

Plus, look at Pioneer Woman's gorgeous picture of the finished product. (I love me a good picture of food.)

And, to be fair, mine didn't look that much different. They looked nice, they smelled nice. But their flavor was just blah. They were sweet, sure. But they weren't terribly chocolately, and if I'm making a dessert named "MOLTEN CHOCOLATE CAKE" I want it to be chocolatey. I was sorely disappointed. So was Cassie. We didn't even eat all of them, that's how mediocre they were. "What a sham that Pioneer Woman is!" I thought to myself.

Of course, there's a catch. Here I am, talking shit about Pioneer Woman's recipes when the real problem is me and my ability to follow directions. (It drives Matt crazy. Granted, Matt is a man who measures the water and uses a timer when he makes ramen noodles. He hates my refusal to follow directions and my constant insistance that "It's fine.") My printed out recipe called for "4 pieces (squares) semi-sweet baking chocolate." Somehow I interpreted that as two squares, which was 4 pieces of baking chocolate that were rectangular. How did I get through high school? I got an A in geometry! (And if we're keeping score, this is the second Pioneer Woman food-making endeavor that has gone awry because of my lack of intelligence.)

I didn't realize my mistake until I was writing this post, when I deemed it necessary to double check to make sure that the mistake was on Pioneer Woman's end and not mine. I actually re-read the recipe (something I should have done in the first place). I had put in only half of the chocolate. I suppose it's only natural, then, that my cakes wouldn't have been chocolately enough. Hmph.

Of course. Of course. What is wrong with me? Why don't I understand basic shapes or instructions? I shouldn't be allowed to teach human children, or animal children for that matter.

Oh well.

Moving on, I have noticed that too many of my recent posts have been negative in nature, so I want to add that I decided on some shoes and ordered them (only $21!) and they came today. They're gorgeous and as comfortable as heels are going to be. Now I'm not dreading the fast-approaching school year as much because I know I'll be wearing these beauties.

I'm even considering ordering them in red, for test days or other days that I want to channel the Wicked Witch of the East.

I will think twice, though, before publicly mocking students for failure to follow directions, even if I'm wearing the red shoes.

Where are the Oompa Loompas when you need them?

I feel like this is a case of life imitating art, tragic though it is.

I prefer to think of it like this, even though Willy Wonka gives me bad dreams.