Happy Happy, Joy Joy!

Here's what I love right now.

1.  I love that I will be picking up my baby sister in like eleven hours.  You remember her, right?  Here's what she looks like.

2.  I love that Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and that we have a low-stress-high-gluttony holiday planned.  I also love that I have like 22 pounds of cranberries (oh, Sam's club. . .) and I get to have fun thinking of ways to use them (sorbet? pancakes? so many ideas!).

3.  I love the little lizards who have been hanging out on my screens all day.

4.  I love that my husband will lovingly nudge me in the direction of ellipting without calling me a cow--even when I try to avoid ellipting by pretending to have fainting spells.  I also love that he will bring me mini snickers bars to eat while I am on the elliptical.

5.  I love using the handicapped bathroom.  I especially love it when it means I get my very own sink.

6.  I love these happy dogs.

7.  I love pot roast.

8.  I love that I took my car into the shop this morning, and then got a coupon for $50 from our mechanic in the mail before I went to pick up the car.  I also love our mechanic.

9.  I LOVE having a whole week off of work.

10.  I love that I spent hours cleaning the house today, and that my house is cleaner than it's been in months, and that I had the windows open all day because we had a high of 80 degrees today--and the highs all week are supposed to be in the 70's and 80's.

Fun days ahead!  Don't be mad if you don't hear from us.  There should be lots to share upon our return.  Eat turkey until it hurts and drink a glass of wine (or five) for me!

Cute or Deadly?

Geez-o-Pete, we've been busy lately!  Not only am I deep into writing test preparation essay grading hell, but we've been actually doing stuff every weekend lately.  Usually, when people ask about our weekend plans I reply, "Nothing.  Absolutely nothing."  But lately we've been doing stuff--fantastic stuff, but stuff nonetheless.

Which means that I am tired.

This weekend we drove down to Ft. Lauderdale to visit with friends, and spent about 16 or so hours in the car.  I spent about five of those hours grading essays, and exactly zero of those hours sleeping.  For the record, sleeping is much more enjoyable than grading essays.  You can quote me on that.

While we were in Ft. Lauderdale, I took pictures, but apparently only of animals that are either extremely cute, extremely deadly, or some combination of the two.

Let's start with the extremely cute.

OH MY GOD BABY DUCKS.

 If Matt would have let me, I would have taken all of these babies home with us where they would have lived in the bathtub until I built a pond in the back yard where they would swim and do other duck things until I trained them to do quacking and dance routines a la the Huxtable children.

But Matt said no.  And he said that our friends Chandler and Joey tried that once and it was way more annoying than they thought it would be.

Plus, I'm not sure the grown-up ducks (which were the opposite of cute, by the way) were too keen on my ducknapping plan.

Maybe this one tried to kill me with its ugly red poison face?  (That's what my face looked like this summer when I was a poison ivy monster.)

Moving on, look at this gross baby dinosaur I saw when I was with Tanya.  Disgustment.  I followed it around a parking lot trying to get a picture until I climbed into a tree and moved around, and I got the willies and finally ran away screaming.  That's what happens when you chase a baby dinosaur.

Then we encountered this rare creature, Tanya's pug, Daphne.  Daphne is both cute and deadly, as she demonstrated with little funny howls and her look of death.  Daphne has killed three alligators in her South Florida neighborhood, and it's even gotten her on the news a couple of times.*

Finally, I returned home to find this creature, legs a' tangled, resting in its natural habitat.

*That did not happen.

Slightly Classier than Dan Conner

A conversation between Dan and Fred on the critically acclaimed television show, Roseanne.

Fred: Dan, these christmas lights are pretty tangled. Why don't you just buy a new string?

Dan: That'd be a fairly large investment, Fred.

Fred: Why didn't you take the time last year and put those things away carefully?

Dan: Like that's how I want to spend my Easter Sunday.

Well, party people, I finally did it--I took down the Christmas lights.  And it's not even Easter! (Granted, Easter is kind of late this year, but still.)  So, the lights that basically told all of our neighbors that we are fun (if not a little, um, unsophisticated) and cool are gone for now.  And the lanterns that have been packed away in a box because they were too ratty and faded and full of bees have made a comeback.  Here's the skinny.

It's home improvement season here at M Cubed*, and I've got myself a big ol' long list of tasks to complete.  One of them was to save myself some cash by rehabilitating the lanterns in the Carport Bistro.  I'm cheap, and I didn't want to pay $40 for more just because of some silly little bee nests and faded colors.

So I turned to spraypaint. And I'm really pleased with how they turned out.

Aren't they pretty?  I just hope the lizards still like them.



*What is it with me and the early '90s ABC sitcom references today?  Oh man, don't even get me started on Coach or Full House.**
 
**Also, this wasn't an ABC sitcom I don't think, but my students don't get Saved by the Bell references.  If that doesn't make you feel old, then I don't know what will.  Are you sufficiently depressed?***
 
***Also, this has nothing to do with TV shows from the early '90s, really, but yesterday I overheard one of my students say that Elvis died in a snowboarding accident.  Ha!

Happiness Is. . .

We had a lovely weekend here at M Cubed.  It was not really exciting or anything (our weekends rarely are--which I just love with my heart and soul.  It makes me so happy to answer the "What are you doing this weekend?" question with "Uhhh. . .nothing."), but it was peaceful, and full of food, and friends, and husbands, and dogs, and wine, and more food. 

Oh, and the green team won the Super Bowl, which was good because a few months ago I bought a baby a hat.  

And even though it was complete torture peeling myself from the comfort of my bed on this cold, rainy morning, well, I have to remember that I've got lots to be happy about lately.

Like Justin Bieber.  I think I love him.  Not in a creepy way or anything, but he cracks me up.  And I'd be a damned liar if I didn't admit that I kind of love his hair.  Did you catch this skit on SNL a few months back?



Oh, and don't read too much into that, what with me being an educator of high schoolers and all.  Nothing is more revolting to me than a teenage boy. (Riggins from Friday Night Lights doesn't count because he's not actually in high school.  Plus, I find Coach Taylor much more handsome.)  Just thought I'd mention it. 

I also love my new cordless mouse.  Why did I wait so long to get one of these things?

And I love having two whole days that I don't have to worry about grading essays. That vicious cycle begins again tomorrow.  Shoot.

And I love this season of Big Love.

Here's some more awesomepants awesomeness from the weekend.

Phony baloney strawberry milk.  I love everything about it.

Completely destroying the kitchen to make strawberry milk cake.

 

And then forgetting about the cake and overcooking it.  Mother F.  Oh well.  Now I'm not tempted to eat cake all week at least.

More Toasted Coconut Ice Cream.

Rosemary chicken salad.  (And having ingredients separated into bowls.  Why do I love it so?)

Lizard buddy who lives out in the shed and is determined to stow away with the laundry.  (I would love him a lot more if he didn't scare the bejeezus out of me every time I saw him.)

Wrapping myself up in my new faux fur blanket from Target. ($12!)

And receiving sweet dog kisses.

Futile attempts to convince the dog that his fur fur is not enough and that he must cover himself with faux fur.

Sweet inquisitive dog face.

Father-son fetch/tug-of-war game, which is so much more fun while sitting on a chair with wheels.



What's warming your heart lately?

Fetish?

I still can't decide if I think this commercial is funny or not.



How many lizards has she had sex with?  Gross.

Jesus Christ Lizard!

Okay, so that year that I was homeschooled I missed a life science course.  I also watched every episode of I Dream of Jeannie.  It's possible, that in missing that course, I also missed out on learning about something that Matt claims everyone's seen and knows about. 

Does everyone know about the basilisk lizard?  I sure didn't, and when Matt showed me this video I laughed for seven full minutes.  Then I said that I was going to put it on the blog and he said that would be dumb because everyone knows what a basilisk is. 

In case you are an ignorant fool like I am, or in case you spent a year of your life being "homeschooled" and missing out on life science, or in case you just need a good laugh, here's the basilisk lizard in action. 



Ha!

Cold Front

There seems to be a cold front moving through the SAV.  Now, I don't really know anything about weather (except that a tropical storm becomes a hurricane when it has 75 mph winds), and I usually don't care all that much.  And I really don't understand all that high pressure/low pressure jibba jabba.  Anyway, this is a cold front, I've decided, because finally it's cooler than 90 degrees outside.
 
Shoot, it was so cool today (uh, 87 or so) that I had to find my Snuggie at naptime.  (You probably think that's a lie.  It is not a lie.)  And I'm not the only one who's chilly.  Look who I found out at the Carport Bistro!

It's Linus!  Linus the Lizard!

This isn't the first time lizards have found solace in the warm glow of the bistro's lanterns.  Last October I met Leopold, Linus's great uncle. 

But I think Linus is cuter.

Leopold the Lizard

Leopold the Lizard, just what do you think you're doing on that lantern?

Lanterns aren't for lizards!

I don't care if it's warm in there.

Stop looking at me!

You're freaking me out.

Another Enemy?

While I was checking out the interwebs this morning, I spotted this little guy right outside the window. His little sucker hand is especially terrifying. And he was looking right at me!!

I believe that he is in league with the frog and the snake, and that he is on a reconnaissance mission. They're planning something. I know it.

Also, maybe I should clean the windows? My father would be ashamed.