Vacation Part Deux

So, for the second half of spring break, I flew from the ABQ to D.C. where Caitie picked me up from the airport.  It was great being able to hang out with her, even for an hour.*

And after we ate several pounds of pot stickers and Oreo crazy dessert at Friday's, Caitie took me back to Matt's parents' house.  Then I realized, at 1:30 a.m., that I don't know the garage code, and that I didn't have my keys.  So Caitie and I stood outside my in-laws' house like fools for like twenty minutes while I tried every imaginable code I could think of to get into the garage.  Finally, I just called and had to wake Matt's dad up.  And I felt like quite the a-hole.

Shoot.

But all was well only hours later because I arrived along with Matt's mom (after visiting Wegman's, a heaven on earth) at their lake house.

Now, I've already talked about the lake house a number of times.  This particular trip revolved around polishing silver, eating brownies, and flipping the TV channels back and forth between HGTV and news coverage of the upcoming royal nuptials.***

Because the lake house is so chill and so relaxing, there's not usually too much to share about visiting.  It's beautiful and peaceful and you never want to leave.  And you might think that because the air is so warm that the water is also warm.  Nope.  It's not.  You might discover that after foolishly jumping in without even having dipped your feet out to test the waters.  And then you might get hypothermia and die.  Or at minimum scream, swim faster than you ever have in your life (which is a bit of a challenge because of frozen limbs), and then spend the rest of the afternoon trying to trick other people to do the same.  "Oh, it's basically like a bathtub."

One of the best parts of visiting the lake is going on sunset boat rides.  Matt's dad is a longtime lover of sunsets, and seems to be at his happiest when he's on his boat watching the sun go down.  I've got to admit, he's on to something.
 

Oh yeah, and there was lots of grilling, because Matt is the grill master who travels up and down the East Coast demonstrating his mad skillz.

Grilled wings. . .mmmmmmmmmmm. 

Well, I'd share more, but I have to go because Matt is trying to make me watch the William & Kate movie on Lifetime.  That's really a thing.


*Um, you might remember that Caitie was the other participant in the fattest of the fat contests.  Recently, a friend asked me about the "fat offs" that my friend and I used to have, wondering if we still made gluttonous trips to Golden Corral.  "No," I replied, "We're both on Weight Watchers now."  Surprise, surprise.**


**It should also be noted that Caitie is much better at Weight Watchers than I am.


***Matt is so into the royal wedding that it's not even funny.  It's all I can do to keep him from calling out of work on both Thursday and Friday, making tea and crumpets, and speaking in a British accent.  If we were people of greater means, I am confident that he would be in England right now, draped in the British flag whilst stalking Will and Kate.****


****Also, Matt wants me to tell the internet that he is not into the royal wedding but at all.  He just said that in a British accent.

Operation: Skinny Unicorn*

So, as I've mentioned here recently, I am currently so fat that I will soon be wearing tarps as clothing. Also, I'm about three bowls of Homemade Samoa Ice Cream away from exceeding the weight limit for my desk chair. My car is scraping the bottom of the road when I drive, and I'm kind of afraid that it's going to catch fire or something, and then I'll get into a fiery crash.**

And, by the way, I'm not at all confused about why I'm fat. I know that it's because I eat way too much and don't move around enough. Whaaaaaaaaaa? You mean that eating an entire loaf of French bread as a quick snack and then lying on the couch watching Teen Mom II isn't going to make me thin and beautiful? Well, shoot.

So, anyway, it's time to make a change, and I'm motivated to make this change (finally!). On Sunday, when Matt and I were heading to the beach, I was talking to him about how I wanted to join Weight Watchers. And then when I got home I talked to Shecky and she said that she wanted to join with me.

And, in our classic form, because we are ridiculously competitive maniacs, Shecky and I decided that we should make it a contest. So we are competing to see who can lose the most weight (in a healthy, non-crash diet kind of way). The sad thing about this contest is that Shecky and I, what with our tendency to cheat in contests such as these***, have had to lay down a few extra ground rules.

For example, if Shecky (who is prone to illness) gets so sick that she has to go to the hospital and she loses weight because of the sickness, that doesn't count.

Also, I am not allowed to mail her baked goods, or hundreds of Cadbury Cream Eggs.****

Our contest will end on August 1, and the person who has lost the most weight wins. The loser, then, must purchase for the winner a nice pair of shoes that the winner desires.

NOW, if both of us lose 40+ pounds (which would be hard, but is certainly do-able), then we get a much bigger prize which has yet to be determined. Any suggestions?

Don't worry, though. This blog isn't going to transform into some daily record of meals and tenths of pounds lost. And I'm not going to stop making delicious desserts, either. I'll just have to eat smaller bowls of ice cream and fewer cupcakes. You might see some more sorbets and yogurts, but I can assure you that none of them will be made with Splenda or Diet Coke.

So there you have it. My quest to be less fat. Wish me luck! (I really want these.)


*Unicorn because Shecky and I were/are both big fans of the Sweet Valley Twins and High books, and in college we considered ourselves honorary members of the Unicorns because we were basically bullies who loved to wear purple.

**Safety first, people.

***See, also: The Great American Girls v. Boys Keg Race of 2002.

****Foiled!