Wrong Number

For some reason, I often find myself in situations where I'm privy to weirdly private information about others.  Remember the Wild Tiger, Lion Heart note? 

Well, lately, I've been receiving some text messages that were supposed to go to someone else.  But because the writer of said messages does not pay attention to detail--or can't spot it when someone's giving them a fake number--I get to have some entertainment.

Last night I got this message:

Just so you know newman is an always will be my life.  I swear an i mean swear i never wanted to hurt him.  That man has saved me so much.  I love him an always will.

This Newman?

I'm not gonna lie to you: I thought it was pretty funny.  And I thought for about two seconds about texting back or calling the person to tell them that they have the wrong number, but I decided not to.

And then today I got this message:

You may not wanna talk to me because you think i lied to you well i didnt.  When newman started to hit me pull my hair an tell me he will kill me yeah i did something bout that.

Winona Thelma Feldmann!

And now I'm really torn about whether or not I should let this person know they've got the wrong number.  On one hand, I feel bad for them.  On the other, I think it best to stay out of this crazy Newman business.

What would you do?

Bull Ridin'

When I was younger, and I didn't have health insurance, I wanted to ride a mechanical bull.  I was afraid, however, that the ride would end with me requiring some sort of hospitalization, so I decided that I'd wait until I was older--and more mature and had health insurance--before riding the mechanical bull.

I'm now older--and more mature and a possessor of the health insurance--but I won't ride the mechanical bull.  And it's not because I'm less strong (thanks, elliptical machine!) or because I'm afraid (bring it!), but because of this commercial. (Forgive the quality of the video.)


What the fuck?  I--I don't even know what to say.

Please, Always people, never NEVER give me this image ever again.  You are now destroyers of dreams.

**By the way, this commercial aired during a Rachel Maddow segment about the how ridiculously stupid the current governor of Arizona is.  You should probably watch it, especially if you're in need of a self-esteem boost.  That woman's about as dumb as a human can get. 

***Matt was mad that I found the Always commerical more disturbing than the Governor's idiocy, so I thought I should mention it so that you can move to Arizona in time to register to vote so that you can vote for that handsome balding guy.

Laundry > Lesson Plans

It's Saturday night, and I'm writing lesson plans. What's less interesting than writing lesson plans on a Saturday night? I'm going to go with. . .absolutely nothing. Nothing is less interesting. The highlight of my evening has been when I get to switch the laundry.

When did my life take this turn for the worse?