Cold Front

There seems to be a cold front moving through the SAV.  Now, I don't really know anything about weather (except that a tropical storm becomes a hurricane when it has 75 mph winds), and I usually don't care all that much.  And I really don't understand all that high pressure/low pressure jibba jabba.  Anyway, this is a cold front, I've decided, because finally it's cooler than 90 degrees outside.
 
Shoot, it was so cool today (uh, 87 or so) that I had to find my Snuggie at naptime.  (You probably think that's a lie.  It is not a lie.)  And I'm not the only one who's chilly.  Look who I found out at the Carport Bistro!

It's Linus!  Linus the Lizard!

This isn't the first time lizards have found solace in the warm glow of the bistro's lanterns.  Last October I met Leopold, Linus's great uncle. 

But I think Linus is cuter.

I'm a Sweater.

It's been a weird week for me and the rest of us here at M Cubed, and I apologize for being such a blog-writing slacker.  I've been waiting tables for vacation money (and Target money), and other than that I've done nothing that's been particularly interesting.  But here's what I've got to share with you on this Friday.

1. Is Audrina on The Hills dating the same Ryan that Ashlee Simpson was dating?  Wow, I'd forgotten about how much I hated Ashlee Simpson.  And, boy, Ryan got fat.  It's okay, Ryan, I know how it is.
2. Speaking of MTV reality TV, how is Olivia (from The City) so evil?  Methinks she's in a contest with Spencer Pratt for most loathed character on television.
3. I still hate Top Chef's Angelo.
4. Trying to lure the wasps on the carport into a syrupy death.  It's not working so well.  As soon as I get the chance, it'll be science experiment time.  Get excited now. 
5. I don't vacuum or mop when it's raining, or when it's just rained, or if it looks like it's going to rain.  But here in Savannah it rains almost daily during the summer, and I'm thinking that I'll have to change my vacuuming/rain rules.  I won't walk across our floors right now unless I'm wearing shoes, which I think is a sign that it's time for a little cleaning.
6. I ate four (or was it six?) flour tortillas (the small ones) for dinner.  I only eat them in twos.  I also separate my Skittles by color and try to keep them grouped in even numbers, eating them in a rainbow order (red, then orange, then yellow, then green, etc). 
7. On Sunday night our electricity went out for ten hours, from eight o'clock until six something in the morning.  That was annoying enough.  Even more annoying, though, was the fact that our neighbors directly across the street still had power.  Stuff like that makes me wish that I was more friendly with the neighbors, or at least that I was more skilled at stealing electricity from others.
8. I have yet to remove that hideaous mint color from my toenails. 
9. Matt bought me She & Him Volume II for our anniversary.  He also bought me 500 Days of Summer.  Matt says that the third anniversary is the Zooey Deschanel anniversary. 
10. I've actually somewhat enjoyed waiting tables this week.  It's nice to be active, and to make money instead of spend it.  The biggest downside has been the embarrassment I've suffered because I have a sweaty, sweaty face.  Like, I sweat more than anyone I know, but it all comes out through my face.  It literally drips down my face.  F'ing disgusting.  This is probably some horrible disease.  I'm a sweater.  It's the sweater disease.

So, there you have it.  I'm sure that, having read this list of ten very uninteresting things, you're happy that I slowed down posting this week.

Carport of Danger

Matt's a little frustrated with my decorating choices for the carport.  See, I love paper lanterns.  But, apparently, so do bees. 

Matt keeps knocking his head on the lanterns, only to have a swarm of angry bees come after him.  (I say it's a small price to pay for carport beauty.)

And then there's our little spider buddy.

Hope that's a mosquito in there.  Matt hopes it's a bee.

The Beestro Is Back.

While hanging out with my dog child the other day at the Carport Bistro, I made a scary discovery.

More bees.  (Maybe you remember the swarm of bees that descended upon the Carport Bistro on opening night?)  And it looks like they're settling in.

How does one get rid of bees?  Is there some kind of spray for this?  Will the bee community of Savannah seek revenge?  Just it's that time of year: Mandy v. Nature.

And that is the highlight of excitement for the week.  Bees. 

Fireworks!

I love them, but I will admit that every time they start I initially believe they're a drive-by shooting.

Mitch hates them.  He never gets past the drive-by shooting part.  He usually barks and howls throughout the show.

Now, here's what they look like from the Carport Bistro.

Man, is it hard for me to get good pictures of fireworks!

My favorite fireworks are the cracklin' sizzlin' ones.  I love that sound.  What are your favorites?

I was going to tell you some fun story about fireworks, but I'm grumpy because I woke up feeling like shit for the fifth day in a row, and it's not even because of wine.  Plus, I'm off to serve Savannah's finest for the next few hours, which means that I'm missing some of Savannah's fun Saturday events, like Sidewalk Arts Festival.  Oh well. 

This day's probably going to get worse before it gets better.  Maybe if I start it off with some Chick-Fil-A it'll change direction?

Birthday Bash

About half of the houses on our street are for sale or for rent (Yay for the housing crisis in the ghetto!), and we've grown accustomed to being neighborless.  It's kind of nice.  Quiet.  Calm.  We use their recycling bin when ours runneth over.  Nice.

But all good things must come to an end, and now a family has moved in two houses down from us.  They seem nice, actually, and they have two little girls who seem to be glued to their Big Wheels, but in a cute way.  They also have a dog, a furry cute black dog named Toby who is about Mitch's size. 

Toby's also pretty cute, but he whines a lot.  He's probably whining because he's aware of the fact that he now lives two houses away from the greatest dog on the planet, and he wants to play with Mitch.

Oh, we've also had the windows open a lot lately because it's been so nice outside.

So here's what happens:  windows are open, Toby is outside whining, Mitch hears Toby whining.  At this point Mitch will do one of two things.  He'll either beg to go outside, at which point he will then howl and howl and get Toby to howl along with him.  OR, he'll stay in the house and howl and howl and get Toby to howl along with him.  It's not annoying at all.

In an attempt to stop the insane howling, sometimes I just let Mitch go in the yard of the house between our two houses (nobody lives there, either) and run over to the fence to say  hi to Toby.  This solution has seemed to work a little. 

Until today.

Here's a view of our carport  (remember the Beeeestro?).  That gate that you see belongs to the next-door neighbor. 

And that pole to the right of the gate?  Well, that pole is really hard.  It's especially hard when you slam your own face against it.

I learned just how hard the pole was when, after allowing Mitch into the neighbor's yard, I went to bring him back in.  I'd neglected to bring a leash, and was just going to have him run back to our door, which he does ninety-nine percent of the time (it's that one percent when he chases a kid down the street and onto the hood of a car that's the problem).  And right as I opened the gate, I heard the little girls on their big wheels, and I didn't want Mitch to go apeshit and chase them (Kids and bicycles?  Well, that's an enemy on top of an even bigger enemy in Mitch's mind.). 

So I yelled out "to the house," pointed, and began to corral him toward the door.  And then, before I knew it, I'd slammed my eye against the pole.  F'ing wonderful.

So there's a good chance I'll be ringing  in year twenty-nine with a black eye.  (Apparently the universe mistook "shiny things" for "shiner.")  This is just like the time I was missing a toenail on my weddin' day! 

 Shit.

Carport Bistro and Killer Bees

I've been reading lots of stuff lately about having an outdoor eating area, which is really appealing to me (probably in the way that camping is appealing to me--I want to like it, but I don't). Anyway, I have attempted to transform our dirty little carport into something more.

The carport, unglamorous though it is, has been where Matt and I have had many a late night conversation. It wasn't a bad space before, but I love it now.

Before:


And $35 later. May I show you around the Carport Bistro? (Matt thought I was joking when I said that I was going to make a sign. Ha!)

First, we stole a table from the neighbor who has moved away. Nobody was using it.

I threw on a citronella candle, a gardenia bush from Publix, a cute tablecloth and some placemats.

And bought some beauteous white paper lantern lights. Paper lantern lights--particularly the white ones--make me really, really happy.

One thing that doesn't make me happy: BEES! As soon as it was dark and I had the lantern lights on, a swarm of bees entered the Carport Bistro. Perhaps they were excited about the grand opening?

Dammit. Anybody know how to get rid of bees? F it. We're having dinner out here tomorrow night, bees or no bees. I'll just channel the spirit of Idgie Threadgoode from Fried Green Tomatoes. It'll be fine.