This and That

1. Getting super pumped about Thanksgiving.  We're headed to the White Hot Household for the feast and festivities.  Check out the menu that Cassie has planned.  But let me warn you first: you will be jealous.  (Only six more school days until Thanksgiving fun!)

2. My friend wanted me to take her Nikon D40 and figure out how to use it so that I can show her how to use it.  Uh, okay!  So I have in my possession a fancy camera, and a crazy lens baby, and I've been doing some experimenting.   Do you think she'll notice if I accidentally forget to return it?  What if I return to her a hunk of chocolate that's shaped like a camera?

Clearly, I have a lot of learning to do.

3.  I can't wait to finish watching It's Complicated on HBO.  I was watching it the other night, but movie narcolepsy set in and I didn't finish.  If I had to have an ex-husband, I would love nothing more than for him to be Alec Baldwin.  Matt said that he wouldn't like that because Alec Baldwin is so manly and he would be intimidating.  I guess it's good that I don't have an ex-husband. 

4.  Yesterday I went with my friend to the Flannery O'Connor Childhood Home to listen to a lecture about the origins of Southern cookin'.  It was pretty cool, and I learned a lot.  One of the most interesting parts, to me, was the part where the lecturer, Tim Rutherford, explained how the Moon Pie came to be.  Apparently, it was a last-ditch effort of the Chattanooga Cracker Company to remain relevant, and the pies were shaped to fit into miners' lunchboxes perfectly.  Plus, he brought some Moon Pies to share with us.  Would you believe that I'd never had one?  Also, would you believe that I'd never, in my seven years of living in Savannah, been to Flannery's old house?  I've been missing out!

5.  Joy had her baby!

6.  Target's Christmas stuff this year is wanting.  But I did find these cute little ornaments that look like they're handmade even though I'm sure they're not. 

7.  My fantasy football team, the East Dillon Lions, is in a 4-way tie for first place!  Last night I beat Cris's team, which was formerly in first place all by itself.  I think that the reason that I won was because of the coaching skills of the handsome Eric Taylor.  I also won, I believe, because I have lions and she has gorillaz (yes, with a z), and apparently lions are more ferocious.  Also, because I have a husband who takes care of all of that fantasy football stuff for me and lets me take all of the credit.  Of course, I should be keeping my mouth shut, because last time I bragged about my team, I lost two games in a row.  Roar!

8.  I've been trying to be a more healthy eater, in theory at least.  Matt just suggested traveling to Mexico for margaritas and a burrito especial.  And when someone recommends margaritas and burritos, you never say no.  At least I don't.

Happy Friday!

Remember last week when I complained about being tired all the time?  Well, I decided that before jumping to the conclusion that I had either A.) narcolepsy or B.) some other make-you-tired-all-the-time malady, that I would adjust my lifestyle habits.  Because perhaps drinking a liter of Diet Dr. Pepper and eating dinner at 9:30 and then staying up until 1:30 and getting up at 6:55 to leave for work at 7:10 and then sitting in a classroom full of screaming and jumping ninth graders and then returning home to inhale a gigantic snack and then take a 3-hour nap, only to start the whole cycle again--well, maybe that wasn't ideal.

So this week I've not been consuming caffeine after eight, I've been exercising (ellipting and walking with the pup), and I've been getting to bed by midnight.  And, I must admit, I've been feeling much more awake and alert.  So that's an improvement.

Now, my feeling awake and alert could also have something to do with the fact that I had a short week this week.  In fact, I only had students Monday through Wednesday, and even though the students were acting like crazy maniacs for those three days (is it the air pressure?  a full moon?  crack in the water?), the shorter week was a godsend. Today was a teacher workday, which never even feels like work because I get to wear jeans and flip flops and there are no screaming or jumping teenagers.  Sometimes I wonder if that's what an office job is like? 

Right now I'm so relaxed and happy and the house is sparkling clean and the windows are open and all seems right with the world.  Matt will be home soon.  There might be a family snuggle nap in our future.  There are definitely Fresh Market ribeyes and twice-baked potatoes (recipe courtesy of Cassie) in our future.  And there will be conversation.  And there will be wine. 

Here's what Friday's looking like in our neck o' the woods.

 cute neighbor dog, Rider

 my favorite spot in the whole world, where I've been devouring young adult literature

 it's been in dirt for like two weeks, and it's not dead yet!

We hate to be away from each other.  E.T. and Eliot, I tell you.

What's in store for your weekend?

A Cookie Recipe from the President?

Three things:

1.  I am not always the most careful of readers.
2. Matt and I (not Mitch, apparently, because we've decided that he's decided that he's a Tea-Partyin' Republican) are Obama lovers.  Yes, still.  And we always get emails from him and his friends.  And they must have my email in their list twice, because I usually get them two at a time.
3.  It's no secret that I'm a big fan of Martha Stewart.  She and I are good friends, and she also emails me pretty regularly.

This afternoon, I logged onto my email [for the 27th time today] and was really confused.  Whoa!  Was the president going to take time on this glorious Halloween to share with me his favorite cookie recipe?  Finally, the democrats are going to stop nagging me to make phone calls and they're going to give me something useful like a new cookie recipe!  And what does Kenan Thompson have to do with anything? 

Then I looked a little closer, and it wasn't nearly as exciting.  Shoot.*

*After approximately five seconds of internet research I learned that Obama's favorite cookie is a chocolate chip one from some diner in Des Moines.**

**What did people do before the internet?

U Really Got a Hold on Me

Today, during my planning, while I did everything I could to avoid grading 90 essays on how Animal Farm is a satirical allegorical fable, I was listening to my "My Girl" radio station on Pandora. Smoky Robinson's "You've Really Got a Hold on Me" came on, and, unexplicably, the only thing I could think of was Sesame Street. 

I couldn't figure out why, until I decided to Google it.  (Or Lougle it--yeah, Hot Tub Time Machine!)

Oh yeah!

Here's a blast from the past.



Sesame Street is awesome.

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuny day. . .

"Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing--Monica did!"

We've already discussed how Matt is the big reader in our home, and how I'm functionally illiterate. Not only am I a distracted reader, but I am really slow, too. My tortoise-like style would be annoying anyway, but it's super annoying given that I married Matt: America's Brainy Speed Reader.

I always knew that Matt was a much faster reader than me, but I didn't see it in action until we began watching Jeopardy! religiously. When a clue comes up, I am not finished reading the first line of it when Matt is shouting out an answer. I don't stand a chance--unless the category is one of the following: the Bible (a guess one good thing came from Baptist school), Olympic cities, and art. Matt doesn't know anything about art. I think it's because he's colorblind.

He's more into books, anyway.

A week or so ago, Matt bought a slew of books from Barnes and Noble, one of which was Chuck Klosterman's Eating the Dinosaur.

Now, I can't really provide you a critique of the book, because I haven't read it. I might, you know, if I grow an attention span, tire of everything else I love, and become a bed-ridden insomniac. So, unless this perfect storm should arise, chances are I won't be reading the book. But I like the idea of reading the book. And I bet it's really good. Matt's been laughing really loudly while he's been reading it.

Chuck Klosterman's academic and insightful approach to pop culture is super fun to read (I've read parts.). In this book, he has a passage about one of my favorites, Friends. (That, since it was only a few pages, I did manage to read in its entirety.)

Here's a quick excerpt:

"Like almost all successful TV ensembles, the plots on Friends weren't a fraction as important as the characters and who played them--especially as the seasons wore on, the humor came from our familiarity with these characters' archetypes. People who liked Friends literally liked the friends. Audiences watched the show because they felt like they had a relationship with the cast."

Hmmmmmm. And what episode does he reference? "The One Where Old Yeller Dies"! (The one I referenced yesterday.) Basically, I am Chuck Klosterman. Except for, of course, the vast intellect and the coolness and the red hair and the beard.

For the record, though, Ross is my favorite friend.

Who's yours?

FAJITAS!

Under the Dome

[source]

Matt: [returning home from Barnes and Noble] . . .and I got the new Stephen King book.
Mandy: Oh, so I won't be seeing you for a while?
Matt: No, I'll be good. I mean, I'm gonna read it, but I won't sit and read it while we're hanging out or when you're trying to talk to me.
Mandy: Oh, okay.
Matt: On a related note, don't talk to me for a while.

Lion Lobotomy: A Post from Mitch

Hey guys, it's me Mitch. So, I've been reading a lot lately. I'm a lot more like my dad in that than I am like my mom. I mean, I'm like my mom when it comes to sleeping and snugglin', but I'm like my dad when it comes to being smart and reading literature. I'm not even sure that my mom can read.

Anyway, this week I was reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. Wow, what a powerful work!

And the book got me to thinking. . .my friend Leonard the Lion (I get such a kick out of alliteration!) is so much like the main character. He's irreverent and rebellious, he's fun-loving, he's charismatic. I mean, Leonard the Lion is basically exactly like McMurphy.

And as I got farther along in the book, I decided that I would be Nurse Ratched. It's time for surgery, Leonard McMurphy the Lion.

Not only did I perform a lobotomy on Leonard McMurphy, but I also removed his eyes. They were delicious!

Uh, oh. I better clean up those brains.

I guess you could say that this is a case of life imitating art.

Or just cruelty by a dog. I think I should've been Chief Bromden.

Does anyone have a pillow I can borrow real quick?

Awesome Book Club: Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters

I hate to read books. I really do. It's not that I don't like or appreciate books; in fact, I love them. I love to analyze them and talk about them and dissect them (and look at them and smell them). I just hate the physical act of reading. Reading induces narcolepsy. My disdain for the act of reading is particularly cumbersome given my profession.

I wish that I enjoyed reading books. I just don't. I'm so jealous of Matt when I glance over at his nightstand and see the 6-ft. high stack of books he's read that week. Then I look over at mine only to see a Real Simple and Entertainment Weekly that I have yet to finish. It's pathetic, really.

I blame The Grapes of Wrath. When I was a junior in high school, I bought myself a copy, believing that an educated English girl (English like someone who likes to diagram sentences, not like someone who eats fish and chips) would need to have read the book. I tried and tried and tried to get through it, but every time I would start reading, I would slip into a deep slumber. We're talking near-death here. It was during this time that I conditioned my body to associate reading with sleeping. (I also have a severe case of movie narcolepsy which nearly caused Matt to break up with me.)

That damned Faulkner class in college didn't help, either. Even when I would steal Paxton's narcolepsy drugs I couldn't do it.

But the worst? Jane Austen. Smarmy Jane Austen. I hate that bitch. In high school Maureen and I lobbied one of our teachers to allow us do an independent study: literature to film. The teacher finally caved, but with one condition, that we read a Jane Austen novel. Ugh. So I tried for weeks to get through Emma without 1.) falling asleep and 2.) vomiting, but I never actually finished it. BUT, I did watch Clueless--like 15 times.

Years later I had to read Pride and Prejudice. Again I tried and tried, but couldn't stomach it. I know she's brilliant and cutting edge and blah blah blah, but, at the ripe old age of 19, I wrote off Jane Austen for good.

Then one of my friends, Tanya's younger sister Jenna, started a book club on Facebook, Awesome Book Club. (You could probably search for it and join if you so chose.) Because I enjoy Jenna's taste in literature (for example, the Sloppy Firsts series), I thought, "Sure, why not?" I thought it just might be the thing to get me reading.

This month's book is Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, by Jane Austen and Ben H. Winters. Maybe, just maybe, sea monsters will liven up the story enough for me not to slip into a coma.


I read these lines on page 1:

"Her death came as a surprise. . .she was beating laundry upon a rock that revealed itself to be the camouflaged exoskeleton of an overgrown crustacean, a striated hermit crab the size of a German shepherd. The enraged creature affixed itself to her face with a predictably unfortunate effect."

I decided then and there that Mr. Winters had found a way to make me appreciate Ms. Austen.

It's fantastic!

"Alas! A quarter mile off the coast of Sussex, Mr. Dashwood was eaten by a hammerhead shark."

And the illustrations are just as fun! Talk about old school.

Excited, armed with a renewed love for reading, I threw myself into the book--for four pages.

And then I slept for 3 hours.