Freaky Friday

So, the other day I was tackling projects on my overly ambitious two-page big orange to-do list, and because I'd rolled my ankle on the elliptical* I was trying to do as many of the tasks as I could from my perch on the couch.**  One of these tasks was to go through all of our food magazines from the past year and to rip out recipes we'd like to try.  Because I've put off this task for ONE YEAR.  Mother effer.

So while I was lying on the couch holding feet with my pup and being a generally worthless human being, I came across this recipe for what seemed like a pretty dynamite cookie.  Oatmeal AND pecans AND chocolate chips?  Um, okay!  Let's do it!

And I told Matt about the recipe and I was all excited about it and Matt was basically all, "Oatmeal!?  Bleck!" and then I remembered that Matt hates oatmeal.  When he tried my homemade oatmeal creme pies (which were really, really, really fantastic!) a few weeks back he basically spit them out  in my face***.  Oh, that Matt.  Guess he wasn't going to be my cookie-eating partner this time.

So after I healed my ankle this weekend with a secret healing potion (gin and ribs), I decided that I was going to make these cookies and maybe I'd just mail them to people or give them to the neighbors or something.  And I was all excited and Matt was all "meh" and I set out to making them.

Then, when the bowl was licked and the cookies were baked, I tried one.  And then I was all, "meh"!  I thought they needed more salt (at least twice as much) and that they could've used some cinnamon or nutmeg, too.  And then Matt came in the kitchen and asked how they were.  I expressed my disappointment with the cookies, and he kind of shrugged in that way that said, "What'd you expect when you made a lamesville oatmeal cookie?"  And then he said, "Are they really that bad?" and he tried one.

And then he tried another.

And then another.

Every time I'd turn around Matt would be eating another cookie!  He was raving about them.

So, basically, we've got some crazy Freaky Friday shit going on here.

You should make these cookies if you like oatmeal cookies, or if you don't like oatmeal cookies, apparently.  Do not make these cookies if you are allergic to pecans, because that would be just foolish.  Oh, but if you do make these cookies, double the salt and add 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon to them.  I think they'll be better that way.

*I am stupid.


**Perhaps I subconsciously rolled my ankle accidentally ON PURPOSE because I didn't want to do projects or clean the house anymore and instead I just wanted to lie on the couch and eat tortilla chips.


***Gross exaggeration.  He actually just took one bite, made a kind of weird face, and then put the cookie down.

Friday Night: Bright and Delicious

This time last week I was deep in a food coma, lamenting the fact that I'd have to return to work (because kids go BANANAS! during this, the holiday season*), scratching at my poison ivy, daydreaming about Cassie's Sassy, but Manly Brussels Sprouts.**  I was panicking about being behind on my Christmas tasks (even though it wasn't yet December),  irritated by our dirty floors, staring at the mountain of clean and once-folded laundry that had overtaken our bedroom.

After being in such a funk, I knew that the week ahead would be a doozy.  But wouldn't you know it, the week was pretty fantastic.  I was insanely productive at school (because of the 'roids, perhaps?), got to hang out with friends, went to bar trivia with Matt, really enjoyed my crazy students (for the most part, at least), got rid of the poison ivy, started tackling that Christmas to-do list, folded AND PUT AWAY the clothes, and discovered bacon jam.

I made the Carport Bistro look like a really fun, really white trash Christmas party spot.

 I did not, however, clean the floors.***

And last night was like the cherry on top of an already wonderful week.  We ate and drank and talked and watched recorded episodes of 30 Rock and The Office.

We made taco pizza for dinner!****

 

Food Network's Taco Pizza

 

Our taco pizza

And then I baked up a batch of Matt's favorite cookies in the wide world, the peanut butter blossom.

Is it possible that the next two weeks can be just as delightful?  Get here, December 17!

How was your week?  Do any baking?

*It should be noted that kids go BANANAS! at all times, except for the first three days of school and the days where I elect to show Gandhi in class.

**By the way, Matt and I lobbied to get Cassie to name her blog "Cassie Too Sassy," but she wisely declined.

***Because it was raining a lot, and because clean floors are overrated, and that's what flip-flops and slippers are for.  If we're being honest, they might not get cleaned until after we bring home our Christmas tree.  You know, because of all of the needles.

****Taco pizza was really good, but it was a lot of work to make something that tastes like tacos, since tacos are also really good and take a fraction of the time.  Matt and I both really enjoyed taco pizza, but I doubt that it'll be a make-again meal because it was pretty laborious.

Don't Mess with Dave

You know the list? The list from Friends, the one where you name the five celebrities you are allowed to sleep with without your spouse getting mad at you? Well, these two men are on mine. David Letterman has been on mine forever. I love this man. (And I wouldn't kick Obam' out of bed for eating cookies.)

I do not love this woman.

Sarah Palin offends me to the core of my being. I think that she is disgusting, stupid, an opportunist, and an insult to women. Every time I hear her run her mouth I feel the need to donate more money to Obama and Planned Parenthood. She is a symbol of everything I loathe.

One thing I hate is teenage pregnancy, or more specifically, people having kids they're not capable of raising, regardless of their age. I also hate abstinence-only sex education. It's even more stupid than Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol are proponents of abstinence-only sex education. You know, because it's been really effective for them. Sarah Palin has paraded her daughter--and now her grandson--around for the better part of a year.

And now she's mad at my boyfriend Dave because he made a joke about her daughter being knocked up. She's insisting that 1.) he was talking about her 14-year old (which he was not), 2.) that he is some kind of pedophile supporter of raping 14-year olds, 3.) Dave Letterman cannot be trusted around a 14-year old girl. Opportunist? Stupid? Check. Check.

If there was something that could make me hate this woman more, she just found it. Hey, Dummy, if you throw your knocked-up, abstinence-promoting daughter into the national spotlight, expect some criticism. Expect some jokes. If you don't want your daughter to face such criticism, don't put her out there.

I myself will mock a knocked-up idiot 18-year old any day of the week. And her incompetent mother, too.

Go Dave!