Ten Things

I have a lot to say.

1. You should read Caitie's latest post, because it has pictures and video footage of Mitch as a puppy.  I'm in it, too.  Caitie's the best.
2. You should read Cassie's latest post about her adventures in her back yard.  I was laughing so hard that I cried--while waiting in line at the post office.  It was embarrassing, but it was worth it.
3. I would make out with President Obama, if given the chance, and if Michelle condoned the act.
4. Am I the only person in the world who doesn't give a rat's ass about the World Cup?
5. Victoria Secret's semi-annual sale started today.  Did I go there at 9:00 a.m. today?  Did I realize that I've been wearing the wrong bra size and that I do, indeed, have "fat girl" boobs now?  Um, no?  Because I was at work, working diligently, during that time? 
6. Today I discovered the solution to Mitch's thunderstorm neuroses: a Kong filled with high-quality American cheese.  It soothes the soul--both human and dog.
7. Matt is the best griller that I've ever known in real life.
8. I only have two more days of work.  This is that part where you are consumed with envy.

9. John Beohner looks like an Oompa Loompa.  Also, Oompa Loompas are creepy.  I tried to convince my family to dress all of my cousins (when the cousins were about 3 years old) as Oompa Loompas for Halloween, because I thought that would be the creepiest costume of all.  They didn't, and I unfriended all of them on Facebook.  Seriously.  Don't be friends with your family on Facebook.  It's dangerous.
10. Fuck you, BP.  Even though I don't believe in hell, I sometimes wish that there was a hell, so that I could imagine you burning in it eternally. 

Where are the Oompa Loompas when you need them?

I feel like this is a case of life imitating art, tragic though it is.

I prefer to think of it like this, even though Willy Wonka gives me bad dreams.