This and That

Consider yourself forewarned.  This is almost all about pregnancy and baby crap.

1.  I think that being knocked up is simultaneously more of a big deal and less of a big deal than I thought it would be.  Sometimes I'm all "whatev" and feel completely normal and even forget that I'm pregnant.  Other times I wonder how this lung-crushing, sleep-destroying fetus is going to make his way out of me, and one of two things happens: either my eyes get really big and then I just change the subject and eat a grilled cheese, or I cry.  Going to have to face that reality soon, I suppose.

2.  Nursery is nearing completion.  We've got a crib, shelves, curtains that are no longer strangulation hazards (at least I don't think they are), and things are slowly coming together.  I can't wait to show it to you!

3.  So, I currently weigh three pounds more than I did at my first doctor's appointment in August, which I think is a huge giant accomplishment (granted, I was 8 weeks pregnant at that appointment and had spent the month before that inhaling grilled cheese sandwiches and orange juice, so I may have actually gained more weight since actually becoming with child, but I don't know because we don't own a scale).  It's good for me not to gain too much weight because I started from a place of way too fat.  Remember Operation: Skinny Unicorn?  Yeah, that was a bust, or, rather, it devolved into Operation: Drink as Much Wine and as Many Margaritas as Possible before You Can't Anymore, which may have resulted in some additional poundage.  I have a secret goal to use this whole baby-growing process as a way to lose weight.  We'll see.  Come spring, my body will be torn to shreds, but I'll be skinnier, dammit!

4.  I already talked about my hypocrisy with 4-d ultrasound photos.  I've taken it a step farther, though, by analyzing the crap out of that picture.  Do you think the baby looks like Jordan?  Or am I just bananas?

5.  Is this is best baby shower invite you've ever seen in your life or what?  Also, how do you feel about a Teen Mom theme for a baby shower?  You know, Ed Hardy clothes and candy cigarettes?  Nevermind, that's a terrible idea.

6.  I had a dream last night that I shaved my legs.  Ha!  Yeah, like that would happen.  Plus, I'm not sure that I could even do that anymore.

7.  Oh yeah, totes gave my stomach bug plague to Matt, who in turn gave me his cold.  We're not usually such a sickly bunch, and it's been a little bit on the miserable side (except for the popsicles!).  We just keep telling ourselves, "better now than in a few months."

Well, there you have it.  I would take a little "here's how fat I am now" picture for you, but I'm covered in dirt and dressed like a cross between one of those people on those "customers of Wal-Mart" email forwards and Pete from O Brother, Where Art Thou?.  (Too bad I can't r-u-n-n-o-f-t since I can hardly get off of the couch.  Stupid limited mobility.)  I've got big plans for today.  They include George Clooney, a shower, probably a spicy chicken sandwich, and some Downton Abbey.

What are you up to?

"Ode to the Cadbury Creme Egg"

Last week I sent Shecky a link to this recipe for Cadbury Creme Egg brownies. (Which may or may not be considered sabotage under the official, very strict rules and regulations for Operation: Skinny Unicorn.  Shoot.)

[source]

Only minutes later, I received an email that included this poem.  The poem itself is, as you'll see, already a literary masterpiece.  But the thing that I like most about it is when I think about Shecky sitting in her cubicle, wearing some power suit and being all professional and whatnot, giggling because she's actually writing a poem about her favorite candy.

So, on this fine Easter Sunday (He is RISEN! Praise the LORD!), I share with you Shecky's "Ode to the Cadbury Creme Egg."

Certainly delicious

Amazingly Awesome

Duh, like the best food ever

Best idea in the history of the world

U should really try one

R you kidding me that you don’t like them?

Y are they so freaking tasty?

Could I love them anymore?

Ridiculously addictive

Eggcellent (haha, that’s funny, right?)

A new addition to the food groups

Mmmnnn, yum yum yum

Earth Shatteringly good

Good for you (right?)

God love’em!!!

May your Sunday be filled with too much sugar and too much fun!  Moderation is for sissies.

Whaaaaaat Uuuuuup?

Hola.  Yowzers, I've been hella boring lately, huh?

Well, sorry about that.  I've been living in a Diet Dr. Pepper/anger over world 7 of Mario 3 fog.  But a little bit has happened in the interim.  Don't get too excited, though.  It's not exciting.

Here's what going on in our neck o' the woods.

1.  I am thinking of going to my Weight Watchers meeting tonight but not weighing in.  I realize that this is a cheap and cowardly thing to do, but I'm kind of a cheap coward so I don't care.  Also, I just ate about eight pounds of food.  Okay, two.  Maybe what I'll do is drink like a gallon of water and then go weigh in and when they're all, "Mandy, you lard ass, you gained 14 pounds!" I'll be all, "Whatev!  I totally just drank a few gallons of water because I'm healthy."  And then they'll be shamed.

2.  I was so frustrated with world 7 of Mario 3 that I whistled my way outta there.  And then once I got to world 8, I was instantly nostalgic for the days where all I had to worry about was those little plants spitting fire at me.  Plus, I'm like totally out of goodies (raccoon suits, p-wings, etc.) and even though I stocked up on lives at the coin castle, I'm really considering just quitting.  Child Mandy was far superior to adult Mandy, what with her frustration threshold and commitment to a cause.  Adult Mandy's all "F this!  I'm gonna watch Brothers & Sisters!  I'm sick of dyin'!"

3.  Oh, why are Hershey's nuggets so irresistible?  Also, my students had irresistible as a spelling word a few weeks back and all I could think of was the Robert Palmer "Simply Irresistible" video, so I thought that if I showed it to them that it'd help them to remember how to spell the word.  That was a dumb idea, and the kids totally didn't appreciate the video.  Ugh.  Kids these days!

4.  I have sworn off soda after 3 p.m. in an attempt to sleep better and be more motivated.  Two days in, and it's working like a charm.  The house is tidy, the closets are re-organized, and the laundry is done. Do you think this newfound motivation will help me to beat Mario 3?

5.  ONE MORE SCHOOL DAY UNTIL SPRING BREAK!  Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?  Shoot yeah.  And I've got big plans.  Friday night Matty and I are cookin' up some ribs and chillin' like villains, Saturday I'm jetting off to the ABQ to hang out with Grandma Carol and Grandpa B., and then Wednesday I'm headed back east for a few days of lake house fun with the in-laws and Matt.  And then it'll be just six looooooooooooooong weeks until summer.

6.  Had this for dinner last night.  All members of the M3 household approved, especially the furry one.

7.  Have been spending much time fondling my new birthday presents.  Well, not that last one, lest I draw back a bloody nub!

So there you have it--the exciting happenings around our place.  What's going on with you?

Weekend Fun!

Ahhh. . .what a lovely weekend it's been.  It was both restful and productive.  The weather was fantastic, the dog was as cute as ever, and, while we didn't really leave the house much, we had lots of fun. 

Grading essays kind of sucks, but it sucks less when you get to sit in

The Lagoon and look out the window at this cuteness.

Graded papers.

Dinner visit with our three favorite girls.

Husbands who are ellipting fools.

DELICIOUS chicken fajitas.*

And I don't just want to leave you with pictures and nothing else.  We made a really tasty marinade for our chicken, and it was a hit.  Here's the recipe for the marinade. 

Fajita Marinade for Chicken

Ingredients

Juice from three limes

1 tablespoon olive oil

2 tablespoons soy sauce

2 jalapenos, minced

4 garlic cloves, minced

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 teaspoon crushed red pepper

Directions

Combine all ingredients.  Put into ziploc bag with pounded boneless skinless chicken breasts.  Marinate for two hours or more. 

*Operation: Skinny Unicorn folks.  Each one of these fajitas was 6 points.  Mmmmmmmmmm.  I ate three.

Grilled Chicken Wings

Look!  I just got another tool to ward off murderers!

And now I kind of want to be a butcher.

Or a landscaper?*

Anyway, I got this new meat cleaver because we wanted to make grilled chicken wings for dinner.  Truth be told, I wasn't all that jazzed about making grilled chicken wings, but they were going to be the healthier alternative to our fried wings, you know, since I'm on a quest to be less fat.  When we started, I was rather unenthusiastic about the wings (but not the chopping part where I got to use my meat cleaver and make crazy eyes), so much so that I didn't document the process at all.  Fortunately, there wasn't much to document.  Oh, and they're out of control delicious.

So here's what you do.

1.  Chop wings like a psychopath.  Be sure to cut off the tips.  I don't know why, but you're supposed to.
2.  Toss the wings in a large bowl with 1 tablespoon of olive oil, some salt, pepper, and cajun seasoning.
3.  Grill the wings.
4.  Toss them again in a large bowl with sauce. (We used Frank's Buffalo Wing Sauce, but you could use whatever you want.)
5.  Eat.  You will get sauce all over your face and hands, so these are not to be eaten around polite company.

They're easier to make than they are to eat, and I think they taste better than the fried ones.


*I've always secretly wanted to be a landscaper, even though I don't know anything at all about plants.
**Oh, and for those of you who have joined Operation: Skinny Unicorn, it's 10 WW points for 8 wings.

Operation: Skinny Unicorn*

So, as I've mentioned here recently, I am currently so fat that I will soon be wearing tarps as clothing. Also, I'm about three bowls of Homemade Samoa Ice Cream away from exceeding the weight limit for my desk chair. My car is scraping the bottom of the road when I drive, and I'm kind of afraid that it's going to catch fire or something, and then I'll get into a fiery crash.**

And, by the way, I'm not at all confused about why I'm fat. I know that it's because I eat way too much and don't move around enough. Whaaaaaaaaaa? You mean that eating an entire loaf of French bread as a quick snack and then lying on the couch watching Teen Mom II isn't going to make me thin and beautiful? Well, shoot.

So, anyway, it's time to make a change, and I'm motivated to make this change (finally!). On Sunday, when Matt and I were heading to the beach, I was talking to him about how I wanted to join Weight Watchers. And then when I got home I talked to Shecky and she said that she wanted to join with me.

And, in our classic form, because we are ridiculously competitive maniacs, Shecky and I decided that we should make it a contest. So we are competing to see who can lose the most weight (in a healthy, non-crash diet kind of way). The sad thing about this contest is that Shecky and I, what with our tendency to cheat in contests such as these***, have had to lay down a few extra ground rules.

For example, if Shecky (who is prone to illness) gets so sick that she has to go to the hospital and she loses weight because of the sickness, that doesn't count.

Also, I am not allowed to mail her baked goods, or hundreds of Cadbury Cream Eggs.****

Our contest will end on August 1, and the person who has lost the most weight wins. The loser, then, must purchase for the winner a nice pair of shoes that the winner desires.

NOW, if both of us lose 40+ pounds (which would be hard, but is certainly do-able), then we get a much bigger prize which has yet to be determined. Any suggestions?

Don't worry, though. This blog isn't going to transform into some daily record of meals and tenths of pounds lost. And I'm not going to stop making delicious desserts, either. I'll just have to eat smaller bowls of ice cream and fewer cupcakes. You might see some more sorbets and yogurts, but I can assure you that none of them will be made with Splenda or Diet Coke.

So there you have it. My quest to be less fat. Wish me luck! (I really want these.)


*Unicorn because Shecky and I were/are both big fans of the Sweet Valley Twins and High books, and in college we considered ourselves honorary members of the Unicorns because we were basically bullies who loved to wear purple.

**Safety first, people.

***See, also: The Great American Girls v. Boys Keg Race of 2002.

****Foiled!