A Joke

What's Tiger's new name?

CHEETAH!

Missed Opportunities

I knew I should have taken that job at The Late Show when I had the chance!

Don't Mess with Dave

You know the list? The list from Friends, the one where you name the five celebrities you are allowed to sleep with without your spouse getting mad at you? Well, these two men are on mine. David Letterman has been on mine forever. I love this man. (And I wouldn't kick Obam' out of bed for eating cookies.)

I do not love this woman.

Sarah Palin offends me to the core of my being. I think that she is disgusting, stupid, an opportunist, and an insult to women. Every time I hear her run her mouth I feel the need to donate more money to Obama and Planned Parenthood. She is a symbol of everything I loathe.

One thing I hate is teenage pregnancy, or more specifically, people having kids they're not capable of raising, regardless of their age. I also hate abstinence-only sex education. It's even more stupid than Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol are proponents of abstinence-only sex education. You know, because it's been really effective for them. Sarah Palin has paraded her daughter--and now her grandson--around for the better part of a year.

And now she's mad at my boyfriend Dave because he made a joke about her daughter being knocked up. She's insisting that 1.) he was talking about her 14-year old (which he was not), 2.) that he is some kind of pedophile supporter of raping 14-year olds, 3.) Dave Letterman cannot be trusted around a 14-year old girl. Opportunist? Stupid? Check. Check.

If there was something that could make me hate this woman more, she just found it. Hey, Dummy, if you throw your knocked-up, abstinence-promoting daughter into the national spotlight, expect some criticism. Expect some jokes. If you don't want your daughter to face such criticism, don't put her out there.

I myself will mock a knocked-up idiot 18-year old any day of the week. And her incompetent mother, too.

Go Dave!