Bonus!

You know what I love?

I love it when you make a to-do list, and when you accidentally write something on it twice--say, "wrap presents."  And then, when you're finished with that task, you get to cross off two things!  Horray!  It's like you wrapped presents twice when really you just did it once.*

Less fun is when you break your wine glass in the sink** after maybe accidentally dropping it because maybe--just maybe--you had a few glasses of wine (plus a few more glasses of wine) while chatting away on the phone to old friends and little sisters.

Oh well.  There's a lesson to be learned here: buy more sturdy wine glasses.

*Also, sometimes I will write things on my to-do list that I've already done just so that I can have the satisfaction of crossing them off.  Or sometimes I will put the most ridiculous task on a to-do list, such as "eat a salad for lunch and not fast food" or "take a nap."  It's extra fun to cross those babies off.

**Save the remaining danger glass, just in case a murderer should approach your house, in which case you can grab the glass and tell the murderer, in your scariest voice, "I will cut you."  If they scoff, cut them--until they're dead***, because they are (were?) a murderer and they were trying to kill you dead first.

***Or just run.  This may be smarter.  Don't listen to me.  I can't even keep a wine glass alive.

Why does Jillian Michaels hate me?

Summer is fast approaching, which, among other things, means that it's time for me to stop being a disgusting fatbody and start exercising regularly. I saw a picture of myself the other day and thought I was going to have to give Matt a chef's knife and dustbuster to get some of the fat out of my arms. But, really, that would probably be more trouble than it's worth.

Last summer I did a pretty good job of exercising/eating right/losing weight, and I hope to repeat that performance this summer. I've introduced a couple more ways of exercising to our home: the elliptical machine and Jillian Michaels, sadist.

Last time I attempted the 30 Day Shred I was about 6 glasses of wine deep and decided with my friend Cassie that we should do it. I also decided that I would follow Natalie, the advanced workout girl, rather than Anita, the wussy one. As a result, for the next five days I could not use stairs or sit down in a chair without holding on to something (also, we only did the first five minutes). I spent most of that time looking like this:


Well, in a lapse of judgment, I decided to order the DVD for myself. It came today, and I decided to give it a whirl tonight. I actually finished, and I did realize that those first five minutes are the most difficult for me, which provided a sliver of encouragement. After I was done, though, I thought I was going to throw up. And not an exaggerated "stick-figure-decals-make-me-want-to-throw-up" kind of throw up. This was a real, nauseous, sick to my stomach feeling. Matt said that I shouldn't have over-exerted myself, but I believe that the nausea had more to do with today's steady diet of cupcakes and margaritas than it did with the 20 minutes of exercise.

I wish cupcakes made people skinny.