Dogs and Chevys

Guess it's time to buy a truck.



Sorry about the silence around these parts.  It's back to work, back to routine, and back to wearing heels.  My feet hurt and I'm tired and I don't want to ellipt even though it'll make me feel better. 

The good news is that there's a good chance that we are going to win 330 million tonight, so I'll be able to get some more comfortable heels and some liposuction.

This and That

1. Tomorrow is the first day of school.  It's my 22nd first day of school, and I still get nervous and excited.  I hope that never goes away.  One of the best parts of teaching ninth graders is that I know that they're so much more nervous than I am, so I try to exploit that and scare them into thinking my class is going to be way harder than it actually is.  Classy, huh?  I can't wait to meet my new kiddies tomorrow morning!
2. Matt's been gone all weekend visiting his friend Drew in Virginia.  Initially, I was less than thrilled about him leaving me for a whole weekend (because I'm a loser and I never want him to go anywhere without me).  When he told me that during his weekend with Drew he'd be doing fantasy football drafts, though, I couldn't get him out the door fast enough.  I HATE sitting around while Matt does fantasy football drafts, and I always get a little bitchy about how long and drawn out they are.  (Also, he hogs the computer to do them.)  So, really, I believe that Matt's having gone away for the weekend is good for our marriage. 
3. As much as looking at my toothbrush sitting there all alone in the holder can bum me out, this weekend has actually been pretty great.  I gave our kitchen a little makeover (pictures to come), I got an amazing package in the mail (pictures to come), I watched season 8 of Friends (for the hundredth time), I cleaned, I listened to music and podcasts, and, whattayaknow?. . . I participated in a fantasy football draft of my own. 
4. My reasons for joining the fantasy football league were threefold. 
1. I really like the people who are in the league, and since it seems that my Savannah friends all move away, I need to be more outgoing. 
2. I could possibly win money.
3. Most importantly, there's a chance that I could win in my league and Matt would lose in his.  I am a bad wife.
5. Today I bought the Goody spiral bobby pin thing, and I'm completely in love.  I can basically make my hair look like it's in a fancy up-do with no work at all.  Go buy them.  I think you'll agree.

Well, I'm off to pack my lunch for my first day of school.  Wish me luck!

This and That

1. Just finished watching True Blood.  I'm about ready for Sookie to get offed.
2. Brett Favre is such a drama queen!  This is why I broke up with him a few years ago.  Well, the drama queen thing and the way he just couldn't seem to make a decision.
3. Matt and I have been pro-baby for two full weeks.  That could be a record.  Understand, though, that I'm about to head back to school, and there's nothing like a classroom full of ninth graders to make a person anti-baby.
4. Thunderstorms = awesome.  Especially because I can cross off "water hydrangeas" from my to do list without having to go outside.
5. We went back to B. Matthews for brunch today, since last week's experience had been so incredible.  And guess what?  It sucked.  The food and service were lackluster.  Do we chaulk that up to a bad day for the restaurant, or is it just hit or miss at B. Matthews?  Savannah people, any thoughts?
6. I'm headed back to work tomorrow morning, which I'm actually pretty excited about.  This will be my fifth year teaching (how did that happen?), and I don't think I've ever been this eager to get back.  (I am, however, decidedly less excited about being to school at 7:15 every morning.)  In preparation for the coming year, I have:
1. Bought new pants.
2. Bought new shoes.
3. Bought new anti-frizz hair stuff so that maybe I will blow dry my hair for work and go to school looking like a real girl, not a hobo in a cardigan.
4. Bought a mini refrigerator. (Cost $50.  Will save me $90 over the course of one year.)
5. Bought a microwave. (Cost $29.  Decided that the refrigerator paid for it.)
6. Made a big to-do list of things to do tomorrow. (Two pages long!)
7. Refrained from drinking wine tonight. (Also, Georgia doesn't sell wine on Sundays.)
8. Thought a lot about how to tweak my American Literature class. (Less Puritan garbage, more Vonnegut?  Can I swing that?)
9. Set out my clothes for tomorrow.  (More of the hobo look since it's just pre-planning week.)  Also packed my school bag and set that out for tomorrow morning. (That's where my water bottle and missing sunglasses were hiding!)
10. Finished this blog post early so that I can get to bed and be at school at 7:15. 

Happy week to you!

Picking for Bugs Under Your Skin Isn't Normal.

Okay, so today I worked a shift waiting tables, and things started out boring enough.  My first table was a guy about my age, and a woman I assumed was his mom, or aunt, or Mrs. Robinson.  Didn't matter to me.  After they chowed down on their chain restaurant delicasies, they paid with a credit card, and left. 

It was pretty uneventful.

Uneventful until I went to clean the table, and noticed that underneath their credit card slip there was a note. 

It was hard to decipher the writing, but eventually my coworkers and I figured it out.  Well, sort of.

Methadone.  Ol' Brian either wanted to sell me some methadone, or he figured that since I was working at a restaurant, that I must have a good drug connection to hook him up with some methadone.  The situation is disturbing to me for two main reasons.

1. What sort if image had I been projecting to make Brian believe that I either was in the market for or could sell him some drugs?
2. Why couldn't Brian just use proper punctuation, therefore clearly expressing his message?

Oh, also, I learned today that methadone is not the same as crystal meth.  The basic difference between the two is that methadone is a depressant and crystal meth is a stimulant. 

So I guess the good news is that Brian didn't think I looked like someone who would:

• Lose my virginity in a public restroom
• Beat up an old man for money
• Try to tear off my own skin
• Make my girlfriend sell her body
• Pick for bugs under my skin
• Ever have to worry about having lipstick on my teeth

Leaving notes for waitresses looking for drugs isn't normal but on meth[adone], apparently it is.  And, in case you were wondering, I didn't take him up on his offer, whatever it was.
 
(Oh, and I blurred out the phone number just in case any of you readers are junkies.  I don't want to be an accessory to your illegal and scary activity.)

Click, click, click.

Isn't it the best when you search and search for something specific, and then you finally find it?

Recently, I've been on the hunt for a peep toe, slingback pump, one that's not too tall, that's black but not patent leather or snakeskin or anything else that might make people mistake me for some kind of hooker.

Ta-da!

And only $30!  Between the shoes and the mini-fridge I just purchased for the classroom, I'm getting pretty excited about school starting.

Back to School. . .

. . .Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.

Tomorrow I return to my beloved workplace. For some reason, I'm not that upset about it, which may just mean that it hasn't fully hit me. Or that I'm insane. Really, though, I'm fine with it. I just had 17 days off of school! And I got paid! So, I don't really fell like I'm in a position to be complaining. This tune may change come 6:30 a.m., but right now I'm good. The sooner I go back to school, the sooner we get to go to Ft. Lauderdale (annual time with Matt's parents, the Godfather, my Soulmate, and the Hard Rock Casino). Then comes birthday, spring break, warm weather, and SUMMER. See, returning to school isn't so bad after all.

A smart Mandy would be in bed right now. But we all know that I'm not a smart Mandy. At least, not anymore. I think my intellect peaked when I was 21 years old. Tonight I came across some of my old college papers and couldn't believe how smart I used to be! Big words, fancy sentences, insight, the works! What happened? Well, I blame Matt. Junior year of college--the peak--was pre-Matt. Actually, that doesn't make sense because Matt is about 200 times smarter than me, in spite of being colorblind and essentially retarded when it comes to spatial relationships.

Maybe I should have a New Year's resolution: to become as smart as the Mandy of 2002. I owe it to myself, and to my students.

Wait--does that mean that I have to stop watching The Hills and The City? If so, deal's off.

Summer Consequence

Oh dear God.

If you've been keeping up with the blog, then you know that I've spent the last two months of my life drinking massive amounts of boxed wine, baking and eating dozens of cupcakes, napping with the dog, and completely abandoning any semblance of a healthy lifestyle.

And it's all caught up with me. School starts tomorrow.

Tonight I went to the closet to pick out something to wear for the big first day of school. You know, something modest but nice, something that says, "I'm your bitchy teacher; fear me." (I haven't so much as looked at my school clothes since June 12.)

So I grabbed one of my 5 pairs of black pants, and put them on--barely. Uh oh. And then I tried on the other 4, and it wasn't pretty.

"But, you know, I just washed them and I just ate dinner and I'm pretty sure I'm retaining water."

Yeah, right.

I can't, in good conscience, even pretend that those are the reasons for this, shall we say, "growth." The real reason is that I've been in an eating contest with myself for the last two months, and the consequence is a body that's spilling out of my teacher clothes.

I know what I have to do, and it's not a pill or a binge diet or some other "get thin fast" kind of gimmick. Tomorrow I'm going to have to reconcile with Jillian Michaels and the elliptical machine and the Wii Fit balance board.

And I have to get back to daily plate (amazing online calorie counter!) and stop eating like it's my last day to live or like I'm in a hurry to have my leg amputated.

But, still I face the immediate question about what to wear for my first day of school, and the Snuggie may be the only thing that fits me right now.

At least they come in a variety of colors and patterns. And at least I have cute shoes!

Update

My apologies for the lack of posting this week. This is my last week before I must return to school, so I'm trying to enjoy my freedom, soaking up the last moments of August. But, in bullets, here is what we have been up to:

• Sleeping. We have been spending extraordinary amounts of time sleeping, even for us. We're not sick of sleep-deprived or anything--just lazy and big fans of long naps.
• Eating. We had Fresh Market steaks twice in a week.
• Dreaming. Actually, nightmaring. About an hour ago I was having a dream that a scary clown that I had openly mocked robbed a bank I was in, and then I had to escape with Ken Jennings from Jeopardy!.
• Snuggling. Unsurprisingly, Mitch remains the cutest dog on the planet.
• Watching TV. We're currently obsessed with Top Chef, Friday Night Lights, season 3 of Dexter, and True Blood.
• Eating. We're fat.
• Working. Booo. Where's my winning lottery ticket?
• Debating. Can Matt and Mandy be happy with parenthood if we have just one child?
• Decorating. I'm trying to make our office look like something that would not be a part of the set of The Wonder Years.
• Hosting. Matt's good friend came to visit this week. The visit was short, but very fun.
• Drinking. Too much.
• Nursing. Hangovers. PS--the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich has become my hangover cure!

I may elaborate on some of these in the future. Have a happy Friday and a great weekend!

Shoe Selection

Since a $625 pair of Christian Louboutin's is not in the cards for me, I've been looking elsewhere for a new pair of shoes for school. I already have lots of black shoes, and I pretty much wear only black to school (which is why my students often believe that 1.) I was a goth kid in high school and 2.) I am dangerous). Nine West seems to have some fun options right now, and I need your input about which pair I should choose. I've narrowed it down to the following:

I need your opinions. Pros? Cons? Other suggestions?