Three Cheers for Freedom!

This week we had our first little trip away from home.  We loaded up dog and baby and a car full of crap (for serious, why so much crap?) and drove a few hours to see our favorite White Hot friends.  Cassie and I had been planning for this holiday since last summer when we both got knocked up.  While our little fetuses (shouldn't the plural form of fetus be feti?) grew bigger and bigger, so did our dreams of gin cocktails, French 75's and rivers of wine.  When the time actually came, we indulged, certainly, but not nearly as much as we'd planned way back when we were, oh, 25 weeks pregnant and feeling like that was the most tired we'd ever be.* So there were earlier bedtimes and a little more tiptoeing than last year.  Still, how awesome it was to hang out with some of our very favorite people and our spawn.  At times, I'd stop and look around and realize again, "Oh my god--we have babies!"  Bananas, I tell you.**

What was even weirder than the fact that, joining us, were a little half-Hugh/half-Cassie and a little half-Matt/half-Mandy, was that those little babes didn't really change things like I had feared they might.  Sure, we had to focus much of our attention on the kiddos, but we could still hang out, love on our pups, and laugh until it hurt.

 Penelope gave her daddy a hug.

And Charlie gave his daddy an anti-hug. 

Since coming home, I've been trying to get rid of all of the unnecessary crap around our house (seriously, why so much crap?), Charlie's been grabbing things and sucking on them, and Matt and I have been trying to teach/train/beg Charlie to nap.  We're one screaming session away from reading him the book gifted to him by my soulmate.  But we're all figuring it out.

 I think that Panda is possessed.  Earlier today it was just sitting on the mantle and began to play music.  

I'm probably going to wake up and see it sitting on my chest with a knife.

How Charlie feels about naps.  Either that, or he knows that Panda is out to get us.

Oh, and I've been taking Charlie to the Forsyth Park farmer's market on Saturday mornings, which basically means that I get to spend the rest of the week sounding like an obnoxious Portlandia character, bragging about local corn and blueberries.  It also means that I've been eating pounds upon pounds of peaches--so many that I actually burned my face with peach juice.  How does that even happen?

Soooooo, how did you spend America's birthday?  And have you been eating lots of local produce?




*Oh, and nobody likes a drunk baby.


**Babynanas.

This and That

Here's what's new and exciting around these parts lately.

1.  I found an 8-pack of fun sized Butterfingers in the refrigerator yesterday.  They lasted for approximately .08 seconds.  Oh, the carnage!  But it's okay, because I'm supposed to eat 500 extra calories a day since young Charles feeds off of me for 25 hours/day, and I'm pretty sure that my doctor wants those extra calories to come from Butterfingers.  (Oreos will suffice.)

2. My grandparents and aunt are visiting this weekend!  Horray!  I can't wait to see them and hang out with them and introduce them to Chucky.

3.  I actually took a shower today!

4.  Morning Joe.  Matt and I are officially old and boring, and we have a favorite morning talk show.  We actually record it in case we're not awake at 6:00 a.m. to see it live.  Chaz tries his hardest to ensure, however, that we are awake to see it live.  He's so considerate!

5.  I go back to work on Monday!  I'm so excited.  I love little Carlos, but seriously, I was not made to be a stay-at-home-mom.  I know that returning to work will present its own challenges and difficulties, but I can't wait to put on real clothes and shoes, and to do something other than sit around the house all day.  Plus, I only have like a month of work and then it's summer break.  I can do anything for a month.

6.  Exciting in babyland?  Charlie has a new cousin, Penelope!  Get outta here with her cuteness and her, as Hugh put it, Michael Bluth hair.

7.  I want to make this cake.

8.  JMU onesie on a cute baby.  For serious.

9.  Gang signs.

He's kind of a badass.

Hey There!

Well, looks like I'm back to slackogging (that's slacker-blogging, for those of you who aren't linguists).  Oh well. I've actually been relatively productive/busy in real life, so let's use that as our excuse, shall we?

We have 4 1/2 weeks left until the boy's due date, which means that I only have 1 1/2 weeks left until I'm considered full term and the kid can just show up whenever he wants.  Matt and I are both really punctual people, so hopefully this kid will have inherited that from us and will get here on time, but not too early.  The actual due date is March 28, and Matt and I decided that it would work out nicely for us if I could start having contractions on the afternoon of the 24th, and then boy can make his grand appearance on Sunday, March 25 in the early evening.  That gives me plenty of hours of labor to guilt him with later in life, and it's convenient, and it means that I won't have some gross situation where my water breaks at school and I have to ask a custodian to please mop up my amniotic fluid (hopefully it's not like this).

Shit's getting real, y'all.  I mean, I have dairy products in my refrigerator that will still be good when this kid gets here!  And Matt realized the other night as he watched Survivor* that by the time the tribes merge, we'll have a baby.  I've got a big thick binder full of lesson plans for a sub, the nursery's just about finished, and today I whipped up (and by whipped up I do mean gave myself carpel tunnel with all of the veggie chopping) a triple batch of bolognese so that we'll have some backup meals in the freezer.

Hmmmmm, so what else has been going on?

Oh, I went to Augusta for Cassie's shower, which was super fun.  And I took blackberry pie bars, which were delicious (and good for you because they have fruit in them).  There may have been a slight parchment paper/broiler fire episode that prompted me to eat a few bars myself (quality assurance--didn't want to feed people charred pie bars!).

I had a doctor's appointment this week and had gained 9 pounds in two weeks.  I maintain that that weigh-in doesn't count because Matt and I had just eaten lunch at an Indian food buffet (and I take buffet eating VERY seriously--remember the Fattest of the Fat contests?), but it's possible that it counts more than I'd like to admit because of the aforementioned blackberry pie bars and random feeling-sorry-for-myself-because-I'm-uncomfortable-and-have-to-birth-a-human-soon treats.

Ooh!  We went and saw Stephen King, which was completely awesome.  Matt's a huge Stephen King fan.  I wish I was, but I'm not because I'm the worst reader ever and I don't like to be scared.  But I am a big fan of the man himself.  I was also excited when someone asked him what books he would recommend to teach to high schoolers, and he basically rattled off every book I teach my kiddies.  Matt will have to tell you more about that later (In his new Matt Attack section of the blog!  Get excited!).

Totes took the wrong lens.  Oh well.

The weather's been out of control beautiful.  We've had our windows open almost every day this week.

Pretty sure I wore my hair like this in the '80s.

The dogs have been out of control cute.

Mitch likes to feel his brother kick.

I have one million pictures just like this and I love them all. 

Here's how jealous Mitch is of the computer.  Can't wait to see how he responds to his human brother. 

And, finally, I am really uncomfortable.  I'm trying not to be one of those annoying complaining constantly pregnant people (because, honestly, what did I think was going to happen as I made the decision to try to gestate a human being with my Hagrid genes?), but I can tell you that I am very much looking forward to a day in the near future where I drink many margaritas and then pass out on my stomach.**  And maybe there will be a cold club sandwich in there just for fun.

We've got a full week ahead of us.  Next weekend is jam-packed with fun and friends and family and food, so get excited, peeps!   I know I am!



*Baby, if you are reading this far, far in the future.  Your dad totally watched Survivor.  By the time you read this, Survivor will be in its 248th season, and your dad will still be watching it.  Don't judge him for this.


**Baby, if you are reading this far, far in the future.  Sorry, your mom's totally a lush.  But you probably knew that already.  Hey, at least I don't watch Survivor!

This and That

1.  Um, how can I not take my furry firstborn to the dog park when he looks at me like this?

2.  Just another sign that Mitch and I are E.T. and Elliot: the other day my feet smelled like Doritos.

3.  I want to eat this.

4.  Six more weeks of being knocked up!  I think the boy might have dropped because now I can breathe again and I don't feel his little feet all jacked up in my ribs.  It's nice to be able to breathe, but a little bit annoying to have to pee every .2 seconds.  Oh well.  Six weeks.

5.  Um, could Matthew Crawley be any more handsome?

6.  Um, could the Domino's parmesan bread bites be any more delicious?  We totes got lured into the parmesan bread bite trap this weekend when we ordered pizza because they were only $1, and I think that now they could charge $55 for them and Mitch and I would pay it.

7.  Furry valentines.  (Matt is bearded now since he's going to be a dad.  Apparently that's what you do.  Also, we can't find the cord to his clippers.)

I'm excited for this weekend because it'll be full of these and her and him and him.  And a three-day weekend to boot!

Shoot Yeah!

Go check out why I've been so incredibly excited these last few weeks.

And enjoy this lovely number on your Saturday morning.



And, everyone else, now I'll stop nagging you to get pregnant with me.  

Swingin'*

Here's how a conversation between Cassie and me evolves (devolves).

First, I read a Dear Prudie column about a lady who seems only to be attracted to men who are swingers.

Then, I write to Cassie, telling her that I read the letter that she sent in to Prudie and that we all knew Hugh was a swinger all along.  She agrees, and wonders how she could ever have thought him so perfect.**

Later I found this article that discusses the top ten signs a couple will divorce.  Number one?  Being swingers.  So,  naturally, I sent it Cassie's way.

An exchange:

Cassie: Who knew swinging was such an issue?

Me: I think swinging is like camping.  It seems like it would be fun, but really it's just wet and gross and you wake up in the morning wondering why you make such bad life choices.

Cassie: Oh, and there are weird sounds you've never heard before and you are stuck in an uncomfortable bed all night wondering how in the world you got here.***


*The title of this post could also have been, "How the hell would I get through by day without email?"


**For the record, I don't think that Hugh and Cassie are getting divorced any time soon.


***It should also be noted, Grandma, that we are not swingers and have no plans to become swingers.

This and That

1.  Our power goes out approximately 200 times each summer.  You know, big thunderstorms, a little bit o' wind, and the BAM!  No power.  We use these opportunities to walk around the house with candles and pretend that we're old timey--or worshipers of Satan.

2.  The other day I decided to tune in to the last hour of Steel Magnolias on CMT.  As though that weren't emotionally damaging enough, that damned Sarah MacLaughlin commercial came on during one of the breaks.  I think CMT might have some secret deal with Kleenex or prozac or something.

3.  Also, when I hang out with some of the teachers in my department at school, I feel like I'm on the set of Steel Magnolias.  That part just never gets old.

4.  Cassie's birthday was last week. Cassie is also a big time lover of sharks. (She and Matt are basically soulmates when it comes to sharks and dinosaurs and bleu cheese.)  And since it was shark week last week, too, and because my other good friend Martha had sent me this email about shark desserts, I had to make a cake.  Oh, also, I wanted cake.

Um, maybe we had some issues getting the cake out of the pan?  Or maybe a shark took a bite!

5.  Matt started watching the local news a few months ago in an effort to be more involved in the community, and change starts locally and all.  I don't really care for the local news (no handsome Anderson Cooper), but I do like to watch Matt watch the local news, mainly because he loathes the anchorwoman.  He gets particularly mad when she is mean to the weatherman because it's hot outside.  To be fair to Matt, that woman is just awful.  And what did she think would happen during August in Savannah, anyway?

6.  Bought myself some cheap old school marm shoes today.  At Sears, because that was the only place that had shoes that could toe the line between fun and sassy and just plain slutty.  Also, because of clumsiness, I don't think I'm allowed a heel higher than 3.5".  I'm sure you care a lot about this.

7.  Mitch loves banana puddin' from Back in the Day Bakery.  Can you blame him?

8.  Is anything more fun than the night that you go on a huge grocery trip?  So many choices!  So much food!

9.  Matt wants to start blogging again soon, so we're going to give him his own tab.  But what to name it?  Here's what we've got so far.  Matt Attack, The Mattrix, and The Matt Pack.  Votes?  Also, what would you like to hear about from Matt?

10.  I ellipted three days in a row!  That's basically a world record!  Maybe I can go for four today?

Weekend Fun

We had a great weekend celebrating the births of Tom Cruise, America, and my favorite Jehovah's Witness crush from long ago.  (Oh, Aaron the surfer. . .)  True to form, we ate too much, drank too much, laughed a lot, played with the dogs, and enjoyed the company of friends.  Lovely, lovely, I tell you.

So here's what our weekend looked like.

I don't even know how it's possible to injure yourself on an elliptical, but I managed it.

Chicken chili from Dinner: A Love Story.  Mmmmmmmmm. 

 Holding hands with my dog child. Are you tired of pictures of my feet yet?

 Thank you, thank you very much.

 Car ride to visit Hugh and Cassie for the day!

The greatest potato skins on earth.

 

 Stand off.

Ribs! (Cassie's "Thanksgiving in July."  Um, okay!)

And ribs again!

 Matt went to the baseball game with friends.  I skipped it, took a nap, and watched fireworks from the couch.

Late night chats.

How did you celebrate the birth of our nation? And how did you celebrate the birth of everyone's favorite former pilot/sports agent/Irish immigrant/underwear dancer?