Such As. . .Oops!

Matt: [reading the previous post] Hey, Dummy, you didn't even get your teams right. You have father/daughter team, and triathalon Grandma is your backup.

He's right. I hate it when he's right. . .such as. . .well. . .like. . .such as. . .maps?

Does this make me just as dumb as the former Miss Teen South Carolina?

Um. . .Amazing Race. . .Such As. . .

Horray for a new season of The Amazing Race, and horray for picking teams! It should be said that this season's field is looking pretty weak.

This season Matt decided to change his strategy. Normally, he goes for those teams with intellectual prowess. But this year he went with the models and the cowboys.

The models, Brent and Caite, are going to be a lot of fun to watch, if only because of how much smarter I'll feel after watching them bumble about the world.

Does Caite look familiar to you? She's a former Miss Teen South Carolina . . .

. . .THIS former Miss Teen South Carolina. And Matt picked them. Says Matt: "Models get what they want, 'cause they're sooooo pretty."



And in keeping with his "let's not go for brains" strategy, he also selected Jet and Cord, rodeo brothers. I have a feeling that they will be rivaling Brent and Caite for the title of dumbest team this season.

I, on the other hand, selected some badass teams. I have triathlete Grandma Jody and Granddaughter Shannon, a.k.a., badasses.
And I got the brothers, Jordan and Dan, one gay and one straight. Catty and smart and hilarious.
Are you watching The Amazing Race this season? Who did you pick to win?

Snowing in Savannah!

Apologies for lack of posting recently. I've been sick and busy and exhausted. Plus, there hasn't really been too much to share. At this point in the year life is pretty uneventful, and unless you want to hear about adventures in doing laundry or how to nurse a pesky hangover (Sour Patch Kids probably aren't the best way), I've got nothing. The juicier things that are going on aren't things I'm allowed to post on the blog because they involve lots of shittalking, so if you want to know about those, you'll have to call me.

But Friday night did bring some excitement when it SNOWED IN SAVANNAH! The weather forecast had called for snow, but I refused to believe it because it's let me down in the past. Since the Snowtorious B.I.G. has been dumping feet of snow on almost every single person I know, it seems that I couldn't log on to Facebook or read friends' blogs without seeing the winter wonderland albums of pictures, and I was getting really bitter about it. I hadn't seen it snow since we moved to Savannah seven years ago, and I started to feel really sorry for myself about it. And even though I know that being snowed in for a week is not pure bliss, it was hard not to be jealous when I'd been having busy and stressful weeks at school, knowing that so many others were having work and school cancelled. And I hear it's snowing there again? Jeez oh Pete!

And then it snowed, and I was ecstatic.

It only snowed here for a few hours, and the snow didn't really stick or accumulate. But they were big fat beautiful flakes. I got to catch snowflakes in my mouth, feel the crunch of the snow under my feet. We got to hear all of the little kids in Savannah screaming and playing in what was probably the first snow of many of their lives. It made me cry like three different times. (Also, I am a big crybaby.)

And now I'm satisfied. (Plus, we didn't have to shovel, which was nice.)

Apparently the snow had possessed Mitchell, who then did "butt's on fire" and chased the neighbors. Matt gets really mad when I let Mitch out without a leash, and that's partly why.

He really didn't know what to make of it.

Mitch loved the snow almost as much as I did, and decided to lie in the snow--until a man walked by, at which point Mitch freaked out and tried to attack him. Mitch is ferocious, remember?

Obviously the snow we had in Savannah pales in comparison to that up in Virginia and Maryland, but it was really exciting, and it shut me up. And maybe a month from now it'll be beach weather?

American Idol Hollywood Week!

It doesn't get much better than Hollywood week, and my favorite part of Hollywood week is when the contestants have to work in groups. (For the record, I personally hate working in groups. I'd much rather do things on my own than to have to depend on a bunch of goons.) The group performances are so great because they bring out the absolute worst in people, and it's hilarious to watch. I can't peel my eyes away. The more words that the contestants forget, the more Matt yells at the tv, and the more fun I have during the whole process. It's absolutely delightful.

Right now we have some favorites. Forgive our gross stereotypes and overgeneralizations. It's hard to remember all of the names at this stage in the process. Here they are:

• Brad Pitt looking shirtless guy
• Hot Boston girl (Ashley Rodriguez?)
• Hispanic guy with glasses who sang "Straight Up"
• Big Mike whose wife just had a baby
• Little white boy who was in Team Awesome with Big Mike
• Black chick who was in the group with Hot Boston girl
• Taylor Brady
• Chick who sang "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman" last night

Are you watching this season of AI? If so, who are your favorites?

And for the record, I am pretty happy with Ellen's judging so far. Since Simon is leaving, I want Neil Patrick Harris to replace him, and I want Katy Perry to replace Kara, because I hate Kara.

Redneck Mudder?

So, this afternoon as I was pulling out of the school parking lot, I passed a truck that was entering. "Truck" is a bit of an understatement, because this thing was monstrous, and likely rides up ramps to jump rows of Dodge Neons. It looked kind of like this. . .

. . .only it was that aqua green color that was popular in the early '90s. (The color that I always wanted my car to be when I'd play M.A.S.H., the one my mom assured me that I'd tire of. She was right on this one.)

But the fact that it was a big monster truck wasn't what made me think. It was the license plate on the front of the truck that occupied my thoughts for the next few minutes--the Confederate flag with the words "Redneck Mudder" written across it in big letters. Here it is.



I had trouble nailing down the actual meaning of the novelty plate. Was this someone who enjoyed taking this giant vehicle through mud? Or is this a Redneck Mother, just wittier? Or both? If it was the mother, would it have been written "Wedneck Mudder"?

Matt says it was the former, but I'm not convinced. What do you think?

Idea?

Me: My new thing should be that I have to spend as much time ellipting as I do on Facebook.

Matt: You'd die from overexertion after three days.

Google Super Bowl Ad

Why is Google so good?

It's getting a little dusty in here!

Secrets

Not my secret, but I share much of the sentiment. What do you think?

(picture from PostSecret)

Oreo Cheesecake Cupcakes

It's been a while since I've made cupcakes, and I'd been wanting to make these for a long time now. I'd resisted because I suspected that I would like them so much that I'd eat them all. We were having a Super Bowl party, and planning for a bunch of people, and I decided that tonight was as good a time as any. Then our party fell apart, and only four people came. Hmmmmm. More cupcakes for Mandy? Unfortunately/fortunately, yes.

I found this recipe on the 52 Cupcakes blog. Very much in the style of Julie & Julia, this woman has taken it upon herself to make all 175 cupcakes from Martha Stewart's Cupcakes. Hopefully, she's cooler than Amy Adams's Julia. I think there's a good chance she is, though, because she has a cute dog, Layla. Mitch would be friends with Layla, and he would dance with her. (PS--"dance " is my latest euphemism for "hump." He just dances like he's at the prom.)

Back to the cupcakes. They're not traditional cupcakes; instead they're a cupcake/cheesecake hybrid. Throw in some Oreos and you've got yourself something truly special. These are actually super easy to make, too, which is nice.

Pretty basic ingredients: two pounds of cream cheese, a cup of sour cream, vanilla, salt, eggs, sugar--and Oreos. Lots and lots of Oreos.

And I got to use my silicone baking cups again. (And yes, Caitie, I did wash them very well after the pupcakes featuring cat food.)

And would you look at that? We've entered the new millennium, people. Paperless recipes!


You place an Oreo in the bottom of each cup.

And then chop up the rest of the Oreos.


Whip the cream cheese.
Add sugar, vanilla, salt, and then egg. Mix in an electric mixer.


And fold in the crushed Oreos by hand.



Bake for 22-26 minutes, switching racks halfway through.
Allow to cool completely. Refrigerate for a minimum of four hours.

HOW FUN IS THAT?
And delicious, too. I had one last night and two today. And I think I might have one more before bed. Or maybe two. . .
Oreo Cheesecake Cupcakes, stolen from 52 Cupcakes who stole it from Martha

Ingredients:
42 cream-filled sandwich cookies, such as Oreos, 30 left whole, and 12 coarsely chopped
2 pounds cream cheese, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten
1 cup sour cream
Pinch of salt


1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. Place 1 whole cookie in the bottom of each lined cup.

2. With an electric mixer on medium high speed, beat cream cheese until smooth, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Gradually add sugar, and beat until combined. Beat in vanilla.

3. Drizzle in eggs, a bit at a time, beating to combine and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Beat in sour cream and salt. Stir in chopped cookies by hand.

4. Divide batter evenly among cookie-lined cups, filling each almost to the top. Bake, rotating pan halfway through, until filling is set, about 22 minutes. Transfer to wire racks to cool completely. Refrigerate at least 4 hours (or up to overnight). Remove from tins just before serving.

Happy baking, and happy snow day to our friends in the mid-Atlantic. I'm so jealous of you that it hurts. Next month I'll be posting pictures of us at the beach, and perhaps then Savannah and its stupid climate will redeem itself.

(Maybe this is our punishment for choosing a place to live based almost entirely on fact that there's no open container law?)

Fiscal Conservative in Name Only--Hilarious

THIS IS A REAL COMMERCIAL.



I think you're going to smile a little bit. Especially around 2:25.

Measure Your Risk Intelligence

Matt found this test on one of the atheist/scientist blogs he reads. It's pretty cool. Rather than simply being a measure of how much you know, it's a measure of how much you know you know, and how much you know you don't know. Fun, huh?

Matt scored a 93. (He was sober and had zero distractions.)
I scored an 85 (I was drunk and distracted by both Matt and Jeopardy!.)

Here's the test.

Here's the blog where Matt found the test.

What's your risk intelligence?

Pioneer Matt

Matt cooked a super tasty (and spicy!) dinner last night: Pioneer Woman's Cajun Chicken Pasta.

I would have taken pictures and documented the process, but there's no need, because Pioneer Woman already did it--way better than I would ever be able to.

Cheap, delicious, and easy. Just like your mom.

Sorry, that was juvenile, but not juvenile enough for me to delete it.

Bam Bam Wins Again

I've mentioned before Matt's obsession with podcasts, and how he has to be entertained during every waking moment. How he takes the Zune on its speaker dock into the bathroom with him while he showers.

Well, a few days ago, the speakers stopped working. I maintain that the speakers died because of all of the moisture during shower/podcast time.

Matt maintains that the speakers died because of all of the times that I tripped over the cord (WHEN THEY WERE IN THE BATHROOM!) and flung them onto the tile floor.

Knowing that no good would come from blaming Matt's need to be constantly entertained, I directed my anger at Altec Lansing, the makers of said Zune speaker dock. And I decided that, since the speakers were already broken, some Mandy fix-it-ness was in order. Couldn't hurt, right? (In some ways, this experience is analogous to one of the storylines of the Lost premiere.)

My first great idea was to just throw the dock onto the ground several times to see if I could knock things back in place. It didn't work, but it wasn't a complete bust, either. I saw a flash of light, and became more hopeful. But then after a few more tosses to the floor, nothing.

So I went to my toolbox, and retrieved my trusty hammer.

And, frustrated that I had spent $100 on piece of shit speakers, I began to hammer away. And would you believe it? When I plugged them in, THEY WORKED!

Maybe I need my own reality tv show where I fix things with hammers and eat cupcakes? Oh, and take naps. Naps would have to be included. Sounds like a hit to me.

Marital Bliss

Me: I mean, I was just having an entire conversation with you and you didn't hear me. You and your damned podcasts!

Matt: Sorry. Maybe if you need to tell me something you could just record it as an audio file and put it on the Zune. Then I'll hear everything you say.