Freaky Friday

So, the other day I was tackling projects on my overly ambitious two-page big orange to-do list, and because I'd rolled my ankle on the elliptical* I was trying to do as many of the tasks as I could from my perch on the couch.**  One of these tasks was to go through all of our food magazines from the past year and to rip out recipes we'd like to try.  Because I've put off this task for ONE YEAR.  Mother effer.

So while I was lying on the couch holding feet with my pup and being a generally worthless human being, I came across this recipe for what seemed like a pretty dynamite cookie.  Oatmeal AND pecans AND chocolate chips?  Um, okay!  Let's do it!

And I told Matt about the recipe and I was all excited about it and Matt was basically all, "Oatmeal!?  Bleck!" and then I remembered that Matt hates oatmeal.  When he tried my homemade oatmeal creme pies (which were really, really, really fantastic!) a few weeks back he basically spit them out  in my face***.  Oh, that Matt.  Guess he wasn't going to be my cookie-eating partner this time.

So after I healed my ankle this weekend with a secret healing potion (gin and ribs), I decided that I was going to make these cookies and maybe I'd just mail them to people or give them to the neighbors or something.  And I was all excited and Matt was all "meh" and I set out to making them.

Then, when the bowl was licked and the cookies were baked, I tried one.  And then I was all, "meh"!  I thought they needed more salt (at least twice as much) and that they could've used some cinnamon or nutmeg, too.  And then Matt came in the kitchen and asked how they were.  I expressed my disappointment with the cookies, and he kind of shrugged in that way that said, "What'd you expect when you made a lamesville oatmeal cookie?"  And then he said, "Are they really that bad?" and he tried one.

And then he tried another.

And then another.

Every time I'd turn around Matt would be eating another cookie!  He was raving about them.

So, basically, we've got some crazy Freaky Friday shit going on here.

You should make these cookies if you like oatmeal cookies, or if you don't like oatmeal cookies, apparently.  Do not make these cookies if you are allergic to pecans, because that would be just foolish.  Oh, but if you do make these cookies, double the salt and add 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon to them.  I think they'll be better that way.

*I am stupid.


**Perhaps I subconsciously rolled my ankle accidentally ON PURPOSE because I didn't want to do projects or clean the house anymore and instead I just wanted to lie on the couch and eat tortilla chips.


***Gross exaggeration.  He actually just took one bite, made a kind of weird face, and then put the cookie down.

I See a Brown Table and I Want to Paint It ________.

I'm really challenged in the grown-up furniture department.  There are like three pieces of furniture in our house that are not from IKEA or Craigslist (even though, who cares, right, because IKEA and Craigslist are awesome!), and the few actual nice things we have came from Matt's mom.*

Anyway, we used to use this little computer table as our end table between our two recliners (one from Goodwill, one from Craigslist), but then it was always covered with cords and Reese's cup wrappers and coasters and cameras and crap, so I decided that we needed something that had storage.

Then, a few months back, I picked up this little fun table at a used furniture store by our house for $10!  And Matt and I both love it, except that I would love it more if it were painted.

Are you so jealous of Mitchell fur tumbleweeds?

It should be noted here that Matt does not want me to paint the table, and it's only been after several weeks of, "Yeah?  You're sure you want to keep that table that ugly shade of scuffed up brown?" that he's even been worn down and agreed that I can paint it.  But his agreement is all accompanied by eyeball rolling and slow head turning and shoulder shrugs, and now I'm a little conflicted because I want Matt to want me to paint the table.  And at that point we're basically Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston from that crappy break up movie, and even though we look like them (totally identical twins), we don't really want to go down that path because if we broke up we'd have to change our Facebook relationship statuses.

So you know what?  I don't care if he wants me to paint the table.  He's not going to be mad at me if I paint it, and there's a good chance that he'll realize afterward that I was totally right.**

Now, I've got some options here, and I want your opinion.  This table will be going in our ultra-white-with-bright-accents living room, and I can't decide if I should be conservative with it and paint it black.

Or if I should be more bold and do something like yellow?

 [source]

 Or orange?

[source]

Or turquoise?

[source]

Or purple?

[source]

And now I want your vote.  What should it be?  The grown-up black?  Or one of the more colorful, exciting, fun alternatives?



*Without Matt's parents and our wedding registry, Matt and I would basically have an office chair and a rusty knife.  Sounds like the scene of a scary movie, huh?  


**See, also: parmesan cheese really does taste better when you shred it yourself; we should have an adventure honeymoon instead of an all-inclusive one; the dog should sleep in the bed.

Banana Puddin' Pops!

Very important facts about The Cosby Show and my own life.

1.  When I was younger, we always had cats.  My parents never bothered to get our boy cats fixed, and they would always run away after like 6 months.  We named every single one of these boy cats Bill, after Bill Cosby.  So we had like 8 consecutive cats named Bill.  My little brother began to believe that every animal was called a Bill, so he'd do things like point at a squirrel outside and yell out, "Bill!  Bill!

2.  I do a really good Bill Cosby face.  Or  not.

3.  Our fake restaurant waiting for a table name is Huxtable.  Totally stole that from Best Friend, and it makes me giggle every time.

4.  When I was in college, I submitted a picture of myself to Nick at Nite to "Be the Bug."  The "bug" is the tiny little logo in the bottom corner of a TV screen.  For about 15 minutes on one glorious June night in 2003, my mug was the bug--and it was during an episode of The Cosby Show.  

5.  One of the reasons that I think Matt and I should have kids is so that we can make them do song and dance routines on the stairs, a la the Huxtable children.

6.  Theo is my favorite Huxtable kid.  Denise is my least favorite.  And "least favorite" is an understatement because I effing hate Denise.

7.  I LOVE PUDDING POPS!

I mean, is there anything better that the frozen silkiness of a pudding pop?  So last week when I knew my bananas were about to become overripe (WTF? Why can't I ever manage to eat all of the bananas before they go bad?), I was inspired--you know, like by a beam of light and angelic voices--to make myself some banana pudding. . .pops!  (Also, I'd bought these awesome popsicle holders in Target's dollar spot a few weeks back.)

There are probably like seven billion different recipes for banana puddin', and I'm waiting until Back in the Day Bakery Cheryl's cookbook comes out before I commit to just one.  When I make banana puddin', all I do is make vanilla pudding and add some sliced bananas and Nilla Wafers.  And I always add about twice as many Nilla Wafers as I'm supposed to because my love for Nilla Wafers is as intense as my hatred for Denise Huxtable.

For these particular pops, I made this vanilla pudding, added the bananas (like 3) and wafers (like 1/4 of a bag or so), and then froze the pudding in the popsicle holders.  Ridiculously simple.  Come over and help me eat them!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch the entire series of The Cosby Show on Netflix instant.  

Weekend Fun

We had a great weekend celebrating the births of Tom Cruise, America, and my favorite Jehovah's Witness crush from long ago.  (Oh, Aaron the surfer. . .)  True to form, we ate too much, drank too much, laughed a lot, played with the dogs, and enjoyed the company of friends.  Lovely, lovely, I tell you.

So here's what our weekend looked like.

I don't even know how it's possible to injure yourself on an elliptical, but I managed it.

Chicken chili from Dinner: A Love Story.  Mmmmmmmmm. 

 Holding hands with my dog child. Are you tired of pictures of my feet yet?

 Thank you, thank you very much.

 Car ride to visit Hugh and Cassie for the day!

The greatest potato skins on earth.

 

 Stand off.

Ribs! (Cassie's "Thanksgiving in July."  Um, okay!)

And ribs again!

 Matt went to the baseball game with friends.  I skipped it, took a nap, and watched fireworks from the couch.

Late night chats.

How did you celebrate the birth of our nation? And how did you celebrate the birth of everyone's favorite former pilot/sports agent/Irish immigrant/underwear dancer?

If This Isn't Nice, I Don't Know What Is.

Here's what's making us smile around these parts lately.

Note: it's mostly dogs and food.  But when have dogs and food failed to make you smile?

Homemade mantle art.  Thanks, Mr. Vonnegut! 

 Steroids get rid of poison ivy face.

 New pajama pants plus monkey toes.

The sweetest dog foot in all the land!  See, also, "smells like Doritos."

Martha Stewart wonderment.  Totally making this for the next Sleepover Tuesday.

A cleaner office.

 Wet pup noses.

Don't even think about coming here, murderers. 

 Disappearing blueberry pie bars.

Me: Should I bring wine or gin to the birthday celebration? 

 Pup igloo.  

 Sass mouth.  He gets it from his father.

Tssssssssssssssst. 

The only way to eat Brussels sprouts.  We've taken to making them as an appetizer 

lest they shame all of the other items on the plate.

What's making you smile these days?

Blueberry Pie Bars and Other Fun Potluck Recipes

A couple of weeks ago, I went to my little slice of Savannah heaven, Back in the Day Bakery, and had what I think might have been the most delicious dessert I've ever had from there (for serious!), a blueberry pie bar.  I ate it TWO WEEKS AGO and I've been thinking about it ever since.  And then I was all, "Oh, shoot.  I totally have this recipe," when I remembered that I'd attended Cheryl's baking class back in the fall.  (I actually made them with blackberries way back when, which was also out of control with deliciousness.)  Then blueberries were on sale at Publix, and it was basically like the universe was telling me that if I didn't make them, bad things would happen.

Oh, fine, universe, twist my arm.

I even messed these up (butter too soft, forgot to let the bottom crust cool after par-baking, overcooked one corner) and they're still amazing.  And, they look very Americana to me.  For some reason, ever since I started making them, I haven't been able to get that "America, F*%$ Yeah!" song out of my head.  (Don't click on that, Grandma.  You'll be offended and then mad at me.  xoxo.  But do make these bars to share with your new neighbors.)

I think these bars would be a great thing to take to a picnic or potluck this weekend, plus they're super easy to make.  And here are some links (minus pictures because that'll take me like 2 hours to do for some reason--"There's  no time!  There's never any time!"  Actually, I've got plenty of time, I just don't feel like it.)

Blueberry Pie Bars (or cherry, or peach, or blackberry, or whatever fruit you'd like), from Cheryl the Baking Goddess

For the crust and topping
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 sticks unsalted butter cut into cubes (room temperature)

For the fruit filling
4 large eggs at room temperature
2 cups sugar
1 cup sour cream at room temperature
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
pinch of salt
2 16-ounce packages frozen blueberries (or whatever fruit you choose), defrosted and drained

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350.

2. Line a 9 x 13 inch baking pan with parchment (or spray with Pam).  In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the flour, sugar, and salt.  Turn mixer on low until completely mixed.  Add cubed butter a little at a time until mixture looks dry and crumbly.  Set aside 1 1/2 cups and reserve for crumb topping.  Press the rest of the mixture into the lined pan.  Par-bake the crust for 12-15 minutes until lightly golden.  Let cool at least 10 minutes.

3. To make the filling, whisk together flour, sugar, and salt in a large bowl.  Add eggs and sour cream until combined (be gentle!).  Gently fold in the blueberries.  Spoon the filling over the crust.  Sprinkle reserved crumb topping evenly on top of the filling.

4. Bake for 45-55 minutes until the top is golden brown and bubbly.  Cool at least an hour to cut into bars, or scoop out warm and serve with ice cream.

Other Fun Recipes for a Potluck

Ribs!

Pork Rub (also very good on chicken)

Fancy Hot Dogs

Vanilla Bean Cake

Blueberry Cheesecake Ice Cream (only if you're going somewhere with a freezer)

Rosemary Chicken Salad

Grilled Wings

Guinness Steak

Boston Butt

Thomas Jefferson's Vanilla Ice Cream (OMG, you should totally make the blueberry pie bars and serve them with this!  Or I should!)

Strawberry Shortcake Cookies

How do you plan to celebrate America's birthday?